Aftermath From Amanda: Irony's a Bitch!

          Chronologically this is not how these events occurred, however, I am behind on these posts so I have to tell this tale this way. Recall, I sent her, that text message the night before my birthday asking why she tried to get at my dude, when her and I weren't speaking. She didn't respond for about 3 and a half weeks, where I went to the Porter/Offili wedding(still have to blog about that). Certain times, it's not good to hold a grudge because you end up feeling bad about someone that's not even thinking about you. So by the 3 and a half weeks, I had already forgiven her and was working on moving on like, "People are going to be shady, it's what it's is." When she finally called, I was on my way to work and couldn't take it but it felt like an afterthought. So I was at work and our conversation was over text message and to her credit she apologized and it truly felt sincere but I had already forgiven her and was only looking for an explanation. According to her she felt embarrassed and that's what caused the delay. I told her none of the following but I was thinking, on the surface, that's a valid explanation. However, did she feel less embarrassed 3 and half weeks later? If apologizing was such a thrill then EVERYONE would do it. The point is that you come as you are and the person that  you've offended see's your remorse and it makes it easier to forgive. Recall, she didn't talk to me from February till a week before 1502's Easter reunion, when she called me wishing me luck for my show. During that call, I told her how I missed the shit out of her and was in anguish at not being around her. A week later, I discovered the mistake through Stev, and naturally I was upset. To err is human and I can forgive but when I called her out, she thought it was a good idea to make me feel bad for ANOTHER 3 and half weeks? At first I was like "how could she do that to me, I care about her :( but after the 3 and half weeks, I was like this girl does NOT give a fuck about me and I felt STUPID for falling for her shit. Why feel sad about someone that's so blatantly malicious, I wrote her off because I had nothing else to go on. Thus the whole time she was apologizing I was thinking this is not for me, it's clearly for her, and what's the motive. I thought about it and my only conclusion was that she discovered that I was blogging and didn't want me to trash her or something. 

          I always had the ability to make her laugh and over the ensuing days, when she would call, I couldn't find the words to even speak to her (I'm writing a fucking book! Galfing: A Young Man's Guide (shameless plug). This is irony at it's finest. It felt so surreal to go from "This is the girl for me," to "Who are you?" A few weeks after, I was at the library studying and she kept calling and sending urgent messages that "We needed to talk!" It was funny to me like, "Oh NOW we need to talk!" The gist of it was that she was upset that I had blogged about her and she felt disrespected that her business was "out there" and to be honest I can understand that point. However, on the flip side it was like "Oh YOU feel disrespected! Excuse me, I'm sorry, where do I send the gift basket?" Ask Stev, when I found out, I wanted to rip out everything about the character that she inspired, as I was that livid. It was bad enough that I had to constantly think about these things, but writing about them was NOT fun! However, I will soon be at the point of submitting my manuscript to agents and publishers. One of the first things that these people want to know is who I am and more importantly gauge a sense of my writing, basically I am worth their time. One of the things that I would have done differently about my undergrad career is write for the Michigan Daily or Every Three Weekly because in high school, I won awards at the state competition MIPA (I believe that they are called) for my journalism during junior and senior year. Thus for the literary agents, it was either dig out papers from "Bio 101" or start blogging. This was my foremost motivation in starting this blog and of course keeping up with my friends as we are all spread out. Even if I was still with her, I would have written about her as I was telling MY story. In that scenario, I could have possibly changed her name or something but why didn't I get her consultation again? OH YEA! We weren't fucking talking, as she was too busy dealing with her husband, trying to get at my boy, and finding other guys...


          Before Amanda, the last girl that I seriously cared for was Kelli. Last Sunday, I discovered that she was proposed to. The night before, Chin and I had been at his boy's wedding and the whole time I was saying, "I've been to literally four weddings in the last month and none of them were over the age of 25! Why is everyone getting married SOO young?" Ray was with me and I was still in a suit as I hadn't gone home yet, when Val (a younger friend from high school), told us that my girl that "got away" was proposed to. It stung with irony. At 1502, I accidentally found our prom DVD as Kelli was my date and Ray was with his date.  I tell Ray that in high school, he was THE MAN, and I was barely learning to walk, so as I watched the DVD I couldn't believe that I could be so lucky to have been with this girl. Imagine this scene. With the music going, Ray was driving and his date was in the passenger seat. I was behind her and Kelli was to the left of me in this white dress with black, floral patterning. I was holding the camcorder up to her face and she is blushing, because I am egging on for the camera. The sun was setting and from her vantage point, a beam of light shone through the window and illuminated her. She was entirely beautiful. A curl of her brunette hair fell to her eyes, and I remember reaching out and brushing it aside. As I watched the DVD screen, I reached for her hair in the same motion as I was trapped in that moment from four years prior. She was that gorgeous and she was with me! This is the story behind my song, "Oh Baby" from my first project "No Spaces." Listening to it now, it is raw and amateurish as I did it from my MacBook but the emotion is there. However, one of the reasons I broke up with Kelli was that I was going away to school and she is very endearing so I knew that she would always be in Ann Arbor and I wouldn't always be home and so I thought that it would be unfair to her. However, the hubby to be, went to fucking eastern michigan university. Are you kidding me? That's 15 minutes down the road from Michigan. Irony is a bitch! I swear any other school and I wouldn't have cared because she had other dudes over the years and it never crossed my mind.(Ironic side note, I go to get this prom pic from Facebook and I discovered that she must have de-friended me! I laughed for a good 5 minutes!! Here I am waxing poetically about her and we weren't even FB friends, guess I shouldn't hold out for a wedding invitation huh LOL!)

          The Sunday after Adriana's birthday(which I STILL have to blog about), Ray and I met these two waitresses at their family restaurant. There was a blond wo was OBVIOUSLY young(16) and feisty as she is going to be a handful when she gets older. However, the older sister was very reserved and almost elegant. I discovered that she was a dancer and had won competitions. So I asked her if she could Dougie and she told me "Yes!" Ray and I spent about 4 hours at this restaurant and the whole time, I was trying to get her to Dougie for me as I had never met a "white girl" that could Dougie. She looked at me and was like, "I'm not white I'm Albanian!" Ironically enough, her name is Amanda as well, and Ray was teasing me like, "Nope! Can't trust her!" However, since that Sunday we BBM once in awhile and so her family restaurant is where Ray and I met up when I left from the wedding on Sunday morning. So Amanda #2 and I are on BBM and I told her about Kelli. During the chat she sent something like, "I can tell that your hurt by this." It was almost disarming, because I had no witty comeback, as I believe that all I managed was "Shhh! Real Men don't get hurt." However, I had to face the truth, which made no logical sense to me. Kelli and I never had sex and she had other guys that I never thought about and I had my share of girls since her. However, the revelation about Kelli, weighed on me the entire day and as I was thinking about it, it was almost as if, the entire thing with Amanda #1 never even happened. It was as if I had seen it in a movie or something. I wanted to call Kelli because the night of Adriana's birthday, her and her friends came up to Ann Arbor and were even at Charley's and Ricks with Ray and I. That night, I had meant to talk to her because it had been years since I had seen her, but I was TOO DRUNK and never got the chance. So as I sat in my room last Sunday, I wanted to call to wish congratulations. Kelli was part of this weird home schooling sect that home schooled all of their children, and so by now all of the daughters are either married or engaged. Kelli's twin sister was married in high school so knowing her, I knew that she would be ecstatic at the proposal, even if it came from the garbage man. However, I didn't know if I could call her, I didn't know if I should, and I didn't know if it would look like I had sour grapes. I never had her number as an undergrad because I never wanted to call her in a drunken stupor and say something stupid, so I asked Ray's opinion and he suggested that I should call her. He sent me her number and I did. It went to voice mail and I wished her congratulations and God's blessing because I was truly happy for her, even if she was marrying EMU guy. She sent me a message thanking me and the strangest thing happened. I felt GREAT! It was almost like I had closure to the situation, compared to how I was feeling a mere 10 minutes prior. I expected the opposite and so it was almost ironic, and this brings me to the conclusion.

Sassy little sister on the left

Amanda#2 Beautiful girl. Not sure if I have the time to pursue her

          I was talking with Ray recently and the conversation was that life is too short, why settle for an average girl? There is nothing average about me, and my dreams are not average so my next girlfriend is going to BAD!!! as I won't settle for anything less. It's not just about looks because there are A LOT of good looking idiots out there. What I'm talking about is the drive and desire to know their goals and working towards the steps to achieve them. I was wondering what it would be like meeting women outside of the "Michigan college bubble." The majority of them have given me pause. I don't want to be that "snobby" "educated" guy but SHIT I gotta put my foot down. Here's two girls I've recently met. Each thought that they had a chance at dating me, I DON'T know why. Girl #1.) She's a bit older, meets me and starts chatting me up. She's not attractive enough for me to pursue her but the conversation is going well and she seemed cool enough. Apparently her boyfriend had cheated on her and she was on the rebound. Somewhere along the lines, she says, "Just so you know, my boyfriend is in jail." WHAT??? "I'm sorry I didn't hear you. Your boyfriend is where?" "Yea. It was after his first four and half years that he did it. He got out and cheated on me." She is saying all of this casually as if she were telling me the time or the weather. In my mind, I'm like, Is she fucking serious right now? He cheated AFTER his first four and half years, so what he is on his second or third term? I am NOT about to catch a bullet on account of this random chick. She kept talking while I had this internal dialogue and so I had to stop her. The conversation ended with me saying, "Just so you know...BYE!" I got up and left. 

          Girl #2.) MUCH more attractive and I meet at the bar during dollar beer night. She was on a date but kept coming over to dance with me. I teased her on this fact because her date was that lame guy that would follow her the entire night and hang a few yards away like he was on timeout. We flirted the entire night and somewhere along the lines, I discovered that she has a four year old. This girl is BARELY 21 so that raised an eyebrow...HMM. Later in the night, her ex boyfriend shows up and gets into a fight with her date and this big commotion erupts in the bar. When I later run into her I look at her and say, "I'm sorry but, WHERE is your son?" He was home with her parents. At the end of the night she gets my number, because I was NOT going to ask for hers. Last week, she starts flirting and even invites me to a Tigers baseball game. I consider it because baseball games are fun with the right people. However,  about 30 minutes before the game starts, she indicates that her baby daddy was now being a "douchyr" and her son had to come along. I PROMPTLY went to the library to study. There is nothing wrong with single moms but the first time that you hangout you should NOT meet their children. It's unfair to the kids as the only time that a mom should introduce a date to her kids is if she gets really serious with them. NOTHING about how she would text me was serious. It was entirely sexual and explicit. So last night before she went to work she asks, "Where we banging tonight, I'm SOO horny!" Ray is leaving next week for his internship so I was at his house till 2 in the morning. So the entire night, Girl #2 is trying to get me to come see her at her job, so that presumably we would "bang" afterward. However, Ray is my brother from another, so I didn't leave and somewhere along the night she sends this text, "Are you interested in a relationship?" "WITH WHO???" My head was on such a swivel that you would have thought that I was a bobble head. Yesterday, she was trying to get me over to her house, while her parents weren't there, probably to fold laundry. So had I been more desperate, I would have easily hooked up with this girl. I could have lied to her, but I told her like I would tell my sisters. I told her that if she was serious about a relationship then she had to tone down the sexuality because A LOT of these lame dudes will tell her what she wants to hear just to have sex with her. She kind of got mad at me and told me there was no need to play the "daddy" role. Sarcastically, I responded with "There you go, already calling me daddy, you have a problem, you need to stop!" I looked up at Ray and said, "What the FUCK is wrong with these girls?" Ray just ended his relationship with the girl that I thought he would marry as she "wasn't what we thought she was." He echoed the same sentiments. It's like if I hit these girls with some of the shit that I've heard and seen, I would be a lame, asshole, jerk, loser, etc but YET it's acceptable for these girls to behave this way? Thus the foot is down! From here on out, I'm ONLY getting serious with classy, driven, and career oriented women. If you don't know what an IPO is, Michael O is NOT interested! Due to Amanda #1, just when I thought that my type of girls, were not limited to the educated, and career oriented, the "real world" has AFFIRMED that this is ALL I need to be limited to. Irony is truly a bitch! 

          However, a thought crossed my mind after Kelli had contacted me. When good things occur, people are ALWAYS quick to say, "it was meant to be," "this was the only way!" However when bad things occur, the rhetoric quickly morphs to "it's unfortunate," "woe is me." I argue that if good things can be destined then so can bad. However it is what you do with the bad that is a true test of your character. Logically, I would never choose to grow up the way that I did or loose Kelli and Amanda. However, growing up the way that I did, is what has given me this poignant edge to my writing and music. Loosing Kelli, inspired one of the first songs that I ever wrote as I started down this music path. So it begs the question, what if all of these things were SUPPOSED to happen. If I am to one day become successful and achieve all of my goals then as ironic as it sounds, I can only look back and be thankful for growing up the way that I did, for loosing Kelli, and for Amanda. However I BETTER make it or else, this last paragraph will be ironic AGAIN!


         

"Easter Weekend: The Last Hoorah: (Sunday)"

          Sunday was the mildest day of our "Last Hoorah" but I enjoyed every bit of it. After breakfast at Benny's, Chin and Andre piled into his car to make their way back to Chicago. This left Cass, Stev and I in her car to go pick Jane up from somewhere before we made our way over to the Petoskey's house for Easter dinner. My memory is foggy, but somewhere along the line, Sweeny joined us in the car and together our merry little band made our way HOME (La Casa De Petoskey). Mrs. P had made an Easter dinner for us that was complete with a spiral glazed ham, green beans, mashed potatoes, salad?(my memory is foggy) and all that was left was for us to heat it up and indulge. Somewhere along the line Stev indicated that "E" was coming over and naturally I wanted a girl over too (Arms folded, while pouting)! LOL. Remember, in regards to girls, there was an underlying competition between the boys at 1502, that though we never talked about it, it still existed. When Wheeler and ESPECIALLY Stev would hookup with a girl, they were all of a sudden quiet and smug but it was never overt. Thus I wanted a girl over too and it was amusing when Cass played the "mom" role and was like "Yes Mike O! You can have a girl over too!" However, being that it was last minute and I wasn't going to bother texting Jayne, I said "screw it" and resided to enjoy the company of Stev, Cass, E, Jane, and Sweeny. We ate salsa as the girls tried to figure out how to heat up the ham. Side note, till that day I was unaware that there existed something like "fruity salsa."Jane first brought out some peach or strawberry flavored salsa and it wasn't that it tasted badly, it was just when you're expecting "normal" salsa, the taste threw me off. We eventually made our way to the dinner table and it was AMAZING! Seriously, I have never eaten bad at La Casa De Petoskey and no wonder they're all like 6'7" (Weezy reference), because they were eating all that good, organic home cooking. Great conversation was included within dinner and it was capped with cute little Easter buckets that Mrs. P had waiting for us. I truly love their family. We eventually made our way to the family room for more conversation and "Laffy Jaffe" (Emily) eventually joined us after studying. Med school seems tough, who would have thought! 


          The whole day I was trying to find some alone time with Cass to bury the hatch between us. If you DON'T know, as I'm sure that Cass would vent to ALL of her friends, during those last months at 1502 we didn't like each other. To this day I don't know why but I was her favorite target for when she was in one of her "moods." There were days where I would tell Stev, "Ayo look, I'm PURPOSELY staying out of her way today!" Yet somehow she would STILL find a way to jump down my throat about something that I said.  I'm very sarcastic because I love to laugh so on the surface, you can take some of what I say as me being as asshole but there's never any malice or intent to it. Case in point the "Shape Ups" comment. All I said was "Shape Ups" and if everyone had known that I was about to proceed with complimenting the girl, there would have been no need to collectively shout, "Mike O NOOOOO!" Lol. However, my breaking point with Cass was when she began to disrespect me in public. Where I'm from, and how I was raised, you and I do not have to be "besties" but YOU WILL respect me! Naturally, only my mother and father are immune from that. I remember the first time that I met E, we were on the volleyball courts and Cass and I got into an argument because I was simply asking what time we were leaving the courts. It was petty, stupid, shit like that and I was confused because she was supposed to be my friend. If I am doing something that is irritating, and annoying at least give me criticism so I can learn and grow from it. I was just getting bitched at and so when she thought that she could say anything to me and I wouldn't respond that was it for me. I used to be a hot head and you guys have never seen that side of me because I save that for when it is truly warranted. So many a time, I was SOO close to putting Cass in her place and it was only because of Stev that I never did. I was certain that Cass was trashing me to all of her friends. Take Michelle for example. When I met her she was sweet, bright eyed, never had a boyfriend, and I even talked her into making her "famous" chicken dinner for me. However later, she was EXTRA sassy and borderline rude towards me. Outside of drinking at our house, Michelle and I didn't see each other so there was no reason for her to be rude towards me. I looked at it like A.) She's just dated Mr. Olympian Adam, so she thinks she's hot shit (Valid! I've never dated an Olympian) or B.) All of the negativity that she was getting from Cass. Why I leaned towards the latter was that from the whole Jon/Cass fiasco, Jon once lamented to me that ANY girl that ever knew Cass was suddenly attacking him online or over texts (Haha, He tells it MUCH better). I was fine with all of this because girls are going to be girls. Plus, after I would calm down from being mad at her, I still looked at Cass like a friend. There was no need to trash her, as the only person that ever knew how frustrated I was, was Stev. 


          However, Stev's only advice was "Don't worry about it. It's "Cass being Cass," she'll calm down and forget about it." I'm sorry Stev...ann!(Porter reference), this is the WORST advice that you will ever give me. He even talked me out of going and burying the hatchet between us, and things never got better, they got worse! Shitty advice because I'm the type of person that likes to know where we stand. And even Stev and I were in a little tiff over that summer where we weren't speaking. However one day as he came home after work I just asked him, "Ayo can we talk about this?" During that conversation, we buried the hatchet and he even admitted to me that he's the type of person that hates admitting when he's wrong, he's stubborn that way. It was funny because it was SOO true! As long as I've known Stev, you could be arguing or discussing about something and he's CLEARLY wrong but he keeps going. If when he had walked in the door, I jumped down his throat and immediately began to argue with him or continued to give him the cold shoulder then he wouldn't have admitted that to me. I had to remove my pride and say "Hey let's talk about this." So if I have one regret from that summer is that I never did this with Cass. So the tension grew and it was that thick, as I couldn't be around her. Even Mike D, her cousin, when he first moved in as a subletter was like, "Cass why are you always angry?" In my head I was screaming, "EXACTLY!" However, I couldn't say this because if I even said, "Why" her and I would have been in an argument. Things were that bad. A few weeks ago, I was at the Porter/Ofilli wedding, and Stev was telling about he and Cass' trip to Chicago where they slept at Chin's sister's apartment that had no furniture. Stev turns to me and says, "Hmm! I wonder why you weren't there?" I'm thinking "Really? You asshole!" The reason I wasn't there is because I found out as they were leaving! I'm a housemate and I found out about this trip that were planning for 3 WEEKS mere hours before they were leaving. We went to Cedar Point with her dad and I found out about the trip the day before and it was only by luck that I got a sub off from work. The house would go to movies together, go eat together, go play volleyball together and I would ONLY know as they were coming back to the house. It felt very 4th "gradish" like I was purposely being excluded. Honestly, I was kind of mad at Stev because he was the only person I was telling any of this to, and I considered him a mutual friend, so I felt like he should have said something. Instead, he was "happy go lucky" Stev and so I held my tongue through all of this bullshit because I have my pride. I was doing a WORLD CLASS job of NOT exploding at Cass so I WAS NOT at the same time going to turn around and "beg" them to hangout. We were ONLY friends, what the fuck was I thinking. So when we moved out of 1502, I had ZERO intention of ever talking to Cass again and if you had been in my shoes, you would feel the same way or even worse. Fast forward to February of this year, and Amanda and I aren't talking for the first time. "I missed her like a blind archer," (Where's this quote from) and it was out of this angst that I began writing my novel "Galfing: A Young Man's Guide." If you can imagine I had NO intention of writing about Cass and if I had, then she would have gotten maybe a sentence. How I saw it, if the book takes off, we're going to gain some notoriety as "The 1502 gang." Why the fuck would I want to make Cass famous? However, as the words flowed out, I realized that we did TOO MUCH over the course of senior year, and I was truly touched by my time at 1502. I could have hated Cass to her core, but the fact remained that senior year, the BEST year of my life, would have been less special without her. Beyonce could have been our house mate and it wouldn't have been as special as with Cass, she was integral like every other member of 1502. I had to admit it. So fast forward to our Easter trip and I wanted to talk to her the entire weekend but couldn't find the chance. 


          The 6 of us sat in the family room and just enjoyed each others company through the night. Jane admitted that the "25 year old footballer" probably wasn't appropriate for her ( I was SOO proud). We had great talks such as how in a few years, an Indian man (red dot) will be the most populous on Earth. We talked about some of the differences between the college bubble and the real world. I tried to explain about Amanda. Then conversations switched to the "Naked Man" when out of the blue, E received a text that showed a naked black dude, holding his penis up to the mirror. He quickly sent another text apologizing for the picture, trying to make it seem that he was sending it to someone else. I IMMEDIATELY called BULLSHIT on that, and E confirmed this a few weeks later when he kept trying to hangout with her. However, in regards to the picture, dude was PACKING! I do ALRIGHT, but dude went under his kitchen sink and pulled out a PIPE, it was that big! However it begged the question, "What the fuck?" Did I miss a memo? What is this recent trend of dudes taking naked pictures of their penis' and sending it to females that aren't their wives or girlfriends? Kanye talked about it in that one song on My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, that one senator had to resign because he got caught posting on Craigslist? Seriously, when did I miss the memo? If you do alright in the penile department, isn't that something that you would want to surprise the lady with and have her marvel at when you first got her naked? More than likely, all you've done is turn her off by sending her a picture of your dick, when you guys haven't even been on a date. If she's not EXTREMELY horny, that course of action doesn't work! Am I wrong? This entire discussion was hilarious, and I even told the story about when I turned down my "Naked Woman." The story made my book, but I was surprised that I had never told 1502. It happened from before I knew them, but stories like that reminded me that that "pre-1502" Michael O, is not a guy that they are intimately aware of, so that's one benefit of engaging in this whole writing process. Before the night ended, E suggested "No Pride Night," and I kept questioning "Why!?!?!" "No Pride Night" was a game that some guys had taught her and her friends where the object of the game was to find the ugliest people and hook up with them. The "winner" was the person who took the ugliest person home? Again WHY?!?! I could see me now, playing this game, "Oh woe is me. I'm loosing this game because my girl in not ugly. Oh no!" LMAO! Again WHY?!?!?! I laughed even harder when I told Stev, "Any night we play with Stann, you KNOW you're loosing because, he may be an Olympian, but even Stann would admit that on certain nights, he has NO FLOORS!" I'm DYING with laughter over here, remember RACHEL LMAO!!! I'm not trying to me be mean but I knew that she was "talented" when she out-chugged Wheeler, and threw down the beer can while letting out this MONSTROUS burp that gave me pause! I looked out of the corner of my eye, with half my beer still in the can like, "This girl gets taken home RARELY!" However,  Stann hops on thinking it's a sure thing and he showers her with attention ALL NIGHT. I'm watching him like, "What is WRONG with this man?" Stev eventually leaves with his girl and Wheeler does the same with his girl, so it was only Stann and I and he decideds to take her home. I walk with the group to the girl's house and as there was nothing for me at this house as these girls weren't "it," I simply sat on the porch swing to thumb through my phone to see who was up  at around 3 am (wink wink). About 8 minutes later, Stann BOLTS through the front door and I'm like "What what???" Apparently, he started making out with her, and as he went to take her clothes off, she said, "Wait. I don't do this on the first night!" Stann said, "What?!?!?" and ran out of the house like he was going for the gold! LMAO!!! I heard this and fell off the porch swing DYING with laughter! I caught myself enough to say, "Admittedly, I wouldn't have expected that one either, but WHY were you even with her???" LMAO!!! It was TOO funny! So if I were to ever play No Pride Night, you would have to put SERIOUS money on it! The night ended, and we greeted everyone goodbye. I didn't get to talk to Cass, however the next day, I got her number from Stev and told her how I felt because I truly loved her, her family, etc. I told her that I would never be a Wheeler towards her, but her and I were great once through all of the memories like when I sat in the living room and shared my high school diary with her, to when she became a woman, etc. I was satisfied with us going back to that, and she echoed the same sentiments. And in reading some of her blog posts from after our Easter trip I distinctively recall one post where she said something like, "I realize I DO have a great family!" I laughed of course because I've been saying this since DAY 1 so not to toot my own horn or anything (Fuck it! Toot Toot!!!) I'd like to think that I had a hand in this. All things considered, Easter Weekend, "The Last Hoorah" was an IMMENSE success.

"Easter Weekend: The Last Hoorah: (Saturday)"

          Saturday was a buffet of adventure. Stev and I awoke at Serah's place and though our clothes were soaked from the previous night's downpour, we declined Serah's offer to drive us back to Hotel Arch as it was merely two blocks away. Besides, the sun was shining so it just seemed like walking weather. I am sure that I am not the first male to harp on this but there is something very poetic about getting laid. Correction. There is something poetic about awaking from a great lay, the sun seems to shine more intently, the birds seem to sing sweeter songs and everything seems possible. It's an interesting phenomenon, that begs a psychological explanation because surely the world has not changed a bit, simply your post, climactic view of it. During that walk back to Arch, Stev and I discussed various points of interest including my apparent ability to generate mini earthquakes (lol. It had been a LONG time coming). We quickly arrived at Hotel Arch and within 20 minutes, our merry band of brothers had gathered. In my quest to end my drought the night before, Chin and Andre had joined us at Rick's but it was after 1 am. CLEARLY, my mind was set on one goal so I did not have a seething desire to reacquaint with them then. Shit, my mother could have been at Rick's after 1 am and I would have no desire to reacquaint with her; but then again, I would have NO desire to reacquaint with my mother ANY NIGHT at Rick's. It's not that kind of place. Thus I caught up with Andre and Chin, again, and shortly after, Cass, Stev, Sweeny and I joined them to begin our day of adventure. As we did a lot and my memory is fading from nearly four weeks back (reasons to be a prompt blogger), I will simply attempt to list where we went and some notable moments. 

          Our first stop was Kroger as Chin and Sweeny had to pick up their ingredients for the sangria competition. We piled into Cassie's car and made our way down State St to the grocery store to gather. The funniest thing happened as we were heading for the checkout. I was observing the deli chicken, that sustained me through most of senior year (insert black joke here), when Stev said, "Look! Shape Ups!" What!!! I turned to my left to observe the silhouette of a girl in jogging clothes that I had not taken notice off earlier as she was attractive challenged. I looked down at her feet and indeed she was wearing "Skecher's Shape Ups!" For MONTHS, my TV has been bombarded with those damn commercials about soccer moms, and former athletes WELL past their glory, all regaining their form because they were wearing Shape Ups. There was even that sultry,  Superbowl commercial featuring Kim Kardashian, to induce people to buy the damn shoes. I doubted that the shoes worked as well as advertised but the commercials were EVERYWHERE. Yet, I had failed to actually meet someone who owned a pair in real life. Thus in my excitement at actually seeing them in use I shouted out, "Shape Ups!" Imagine if someone tells you that to your left is Sasquatch, or a UFO, or nowadays Matthew Wheeler, your gonna turn and look excitedly! Apparently, no one understood this fact as they quickly shouted out, "No Mike!" However, it was too late as the girl had already heard me. She stopped walking and turned around to stand unattractively sassy, in front of us saying, "Really? Really? Really? We're REALLY gonna go there?" I was lost as I couldn't help but think, "Go where bitch? I actually liked your shoes." Thus, I couldn't help but force back a laughter as I was truly about to give her a compliment before she took it the wrong way. She struck me as that girl in school who was teased with nicknames like "Melancholy Mary," or "Smelly Suzy," so now as a young adult, she took every apparent slight as a reason to now stand up for herself. Well, here's to you "Dirty Deidre," you go girl! It was really funny and life is like that sometimes, you can be an apparent ass when it wasn't your intention but 1502 should have known better. All I said was, "Shape Ups!" Thus for the rest of the weekend, it became a running joke that if you see someone with Shape Ups, DON'T call them out.


          After returning to Hotel Arch, Sweeny and Chin concocted their sangria's and placed them in the fridge to chill, then the group made our way over to Dominick's to begin drinking. It was sometime after 9 am when we arrived and so they were literally opening up as the six of us walked into the doors. Situated across from the business and law schools, Dominick's is truly the "older" bar on central campus as no underage drinkers are EVER allowed there. This was a comforting fact since Rick's had now lost this virtue. We walked up to the counter and place an order for 3 "Constant Buzz" drinks. They were red in color, and contained a smoothie like consistency but the draw was that they came in huge, mason jars. We decided that we would split one drink between two people. We made our way to the back and sat at one of the picnic tables to get our buzz on. As we were laughing and sharing stories and discussing our plans for the day, Sweeny looks at his drink then up at the group and shouts out, "Guys! It's about to be 10 am and we're NOT even drunk yet!" Everyone looked at him and laughed at the outburst. You have to LOVE my friends. Not being drunk at 10 am was reason enough to lament. We continued as such and nearing the bottom of our drinks everyone, except for Andre, echoed the sentiments that we were not feeling the drink. Shit at $22 dollars a pop, there was nothing "constant" or "buzzing" about them. A better label would have been, "It's-possible-but-don't-hold-your-breath buzz." However, we were in too good a mood and finished our drinks before beginning the walk back to Hotel Arch. We had decided to go observe the track meet over in Ypsilanti at Eastern Michigan University, so the plan was to stock up on mixed drinks. In case you we're unaware, after watching your friend perform, there is NOTHING do at a track meet, so it's NOT on the list of things to do on a first date. Thus we needed the liquid courage to sit through it. We filled the containers and the six of us piled into Chin's compact sedan (Not Recommended), to make our way over to Eastern.


           As expected, we watched maybe 2 races at the track meet and the rest of the time was spent talking with old friends, drinking and playing games. A favorite was to pick who would come in last, during a given race. The only stipulation was that you could not pick a Wolverine as that is un-American. Go Blue!!! However, imagine the agony of picking a runner that you were SURE looked the part of a snail. I'm talking about the person with the headband, tight shorts, and knee high socks that looked like they were something out of "That 70's Show." The race would begin and surely they would be somewhere in the back of the pack but then somehow, by divine intervention, they would gain some miraculous kick on the last leg of the race and end up somewhere in the front! The first time I played this game, my guy actually won the damn race and I was MAD!!! I can laugh now, but it seriously adds another dimension of drama that is entirely lacking in track. Sometime after, my mother called and indicated that the whole family was coming up to Ann Arbor to have a birthday dinner with me. She also had to buy my sister somethings for her graduation in a week, thus she wanted to make a day of it. I told her that I was at the track meet but that she should call whenever she reached AA. The group then decided to head over to Sidetracks restaurant as according to St. Amant, they had the "Best Burger In Michigan." Sweeny REALLY wanted to try it so with such a lofty reputation, it seemed an appropriate place for lunch. Personally, I would have held out for the place with the "Best Burger In The World" but times are tough, I get it. Before leaving, we ran into Porter, an ex Wolverine track star who was now training in AA. He was Stan's, Stev's older brother, year so, he was a few years older than me and I didn't really get to know him. However, every time that I had met him, he was exactly as advertised. He was set to marry Tiffany, another track star, in about two weeks so he talked to Stev about his family coming and such. When he got to Andre he looked at him and asked, "Where you been at? I would have sent you an invitation but you don't get back at me on Facebook. (Andre has been known to be flaky, more on this later)" The conversation proceeded before Porter told the entire group a story that made us laugh. He began with, "I've always said. There are 3 types of niggas in this world! 1.) Braylon Edwards, future NFL star so he got girls because groupies love football players and that whole swag. 2.) Michael Whitehead, not quite the star power of a Braylon but he oozed with charisma and would hit anything that walks so he did quite WELL for himself. 3.) And Andre Barnes. He didn't have the swag of a Braylon, or the charm of a Whitehead so when you heard that he messed with a girl you were like, "What???" It was too funny as Andre was trying to downplay it while the entire group was laughing. Porter finished by asking him, "Get at me on Facebook, early enough to make your RSVP and are you bringing a date?" Andre responded with a no. So as I was sitting next to Dre I looked at him and said, "Ayo bring me if you don't get a date." Since I had met Stev and his brother, I had heard about this ensuing wedding between Porter/Tiffany that would inevitably result in them birthing ridiculously muscular and talented children, who would go on to take over the world. I had heard about this wedding for almost 3 years so I wanted to go and Dre said that he would arrange it. He wanted to watch the rest of the track meet, thus Cass, Chin, Stev, Sweeny and I piled our way back into Chin's car to drive over to Sidetrack's. 


          We arrived at Sidetrack's and wouldn't you know it, it was located beside train tracks so they person that named it must have thought he or she was very clever. We sat outside on the patio and ordered our drinks and kept carrying on. I didn't want to eat heavy as I was eating with my family later so after the waitress told us that their chili was a champion winning chili at some cook off, I ordered it. The group ordered our drinks and they arrived as we talked and waited for our food. Side note, we learned that Chin knew about Stev galfing with Whitney! Whitney was this sweet girl that would bake us cakes and other delights and she was REALLY feeling Chin. However, he spurned her for that girl whose name rhymes with "busy." Let me set the record straight. It's not that I don't like "busy" it was just that she was very young to me and seemed "boy crazy" except for my boy, Chin. The first time that I met this girl, she literally burst through the front door at 1502, screaming, "Where's the Utah Jazz game?!?!" (She's from Utah). She then proceeded to grab our remote and change to the Utah fucking Jazz game. 1.) I already don't like the Utah Jazz for those two assholes, Stockton and Malone, trying to prevent his "Airness, Michael Jordan" from winning those two championships. 2.) Who the fuck is actually from Utah? Thus I was like, "Who is this bitch, and PLEASE escort her from my house before I have to." However, I found out that she was the apparent apple of Chin's eye so I bit my tougue. Also, if you know me, you know that I have a thing for older women. I can meet two girls of equal attractiveness and I will choose one, simply because she is older than I. Whitney was in grad school and "busy" was this doe eyed freshman. To me it was "No Brainer." Besides, I never recived a cupcake from "busy" and what's the way to a man's heart? Thus it was annoying to watch Chin, chase this little girl, when grown and sexy Whitney was ready and willing. Apparently, "busy" is a nice girl when you get to know her but I never got the opportunity to do so. Side note, I'm the type of person that if I don't like you then I write you off. This is because I HATE being fake or two faced. Believe it or not, I was not always "Michael O." After moving to the States in the late 90's, we moved around a lot so I was always the "new kid." I always felt like I had missed out as I didn't have those "Remember that one time in 2nd grade" stories. Thus with the white kids I was the "weird African boy" and with black kids I wasn't "black enough." For years, I struggled to fit in and one of the most hurtful things was when people would feign interest or care for me, but then I would discover that behind my back they were dogging me out and instigating conflict. Thus one of the biggest chips on my shoulder is a direct result of YEARS of being treated this way. I developed this "fuck the world" mentality and when I eventually came into my own, I promised myself that I would not be like those people. If I don't like you, then I just won't put up with you, and it's not say that I am mean to you. Case in point, David Sweeny. I could not STAND this kid when I met him. To his credit he has matured and toned it down from his sophomore year to his senior year and honestly, without Chin bringing him around and me getting to see the intellectual side of him, I would now not consider him a friend. Remember I didn't run track so I only saw him at him utmost inebriated and obnoxious. He would ALWAYS pull out his soap box and go on his pretentious rants about EVERYTHING, before he would proceed to drunkenly do something stupid. For people like me who went to Michigan, it's ALWAYS annoying when students who are more privileged complain about certain things. I can't relate as I would have given anything to grow up like them. I realize that people only know what they are intimately aware of and it takes getting out in the world to witness that everyone didn't grow up just like you. I've come to see that this is one of the biggest benefits of the "Michigan Difference" because it is a true melting pot. Where else in our young lives would we meet such an assortment of individuals and backgrounds? True story. I was once talking to my black friend from Atlanta and during the conversation she said "Coming to Michigan was a "step down" from her high school." What?!?! She was serious, it wasn't like she was being boastful as I sat there DUMBFOUNDED. Where did she go to high school...Heaven??? So whether it's a Cass, or Chin, or Sweeny, or Wheeler, or my rich black friends, or my rich white friends, when I hear certain complaining, I can't help but have the thought in the back of my mind like, "Shut the fuck up!" So when I told Sweeny that I couldn't stand him he was surprised like, "Really?" because I was never mean to him. If he was over the house drinking, I was sociable and talked to him as needed. However, when he was out of sight he was none existent to me because I don't have the patience for people I don't like. So in returning to my point about being fake, I would rather not bang with you, than "pretend" that I give a fuck about you. Everyone talks privately to their friends about other people, that's different. What I'm talking about is when you dog someone out, throw them under the bus and then back the bus up to run them over again, YET when you see them it's, "Hey! How's it going? How's your mom, you're such a sweetheart!!!" <<<FAKE!!! Cassie's team, among others, was KNOWN for this and I can't do it. It's not for me. So going back to "busy," I just didn't have time for the girl but it wasn't personal. If she's ever in Detroit and wants to do some "black" things, I can bang with that. (I swear I never mean to go on these side notes, it's simply where the writing takes me).


          In going back to Whitney, I want to say that she's a sweetheart but I believe that part of hooking up with Stev was partly a means to get back at Chin, because after her and Stev, she NEVER talked to us again and I miss those damn cupcakes! In hindsight, it easily could have been me but I felt kind of bad for having to keep it from Chin, however the other side of me didn't care because Chin brought it upon himself. He could have easily told her that his feelings for her weren't as strong and left her alone. So it was good that it came out because Stev and I had literally talked about Whitney the night before assuming that Chin didn't know, so it was a funny revelation to discover that he had known for a while. "After tonight, don't bring your bring ya girl around me. True player for real, ask my niggas for real.." (Shout outs to you if you know that lyric but I'm wagging my finger at you. Don't pursue partners that your friends have a history with because it puts you in an awkward position). Remember it's "Death before dishonor," "Chick's before dicks," and "Bro's before hoes." Always. It's how gentlemen and gentlewomen live and more importantly galfers. "Aloha to women with no ties, to men that I know well, that way there are no lies." (Where's this lyric from?). So we ordered our food when we first sat down and 50 minutes later it had not arrived yet. We had to seek out the manager and inquire about our food as we hadn't even seen the server since she brought our order of drinks. Ten minutes later, the server/manager returned apologizing for the delay. CLEARLY the server had just been yelled at because she was scowling about something. As they walked away I said, "Yup! we're getting our shit spit in!" Our food eventually arrived and even if it was seasoned with saliva, it tasted good, so Sidetrack's is definitely recommended if you're ever in the Ypsilanti area. 


          We returned to Hotel Arch and I showered and got ready for the evening as my parent's were arriving in AA shortly. I then joined the rest of the guys on the roof in the midst of their sangria competition. I don't recall but the winner was between Chin or Sweeny, as Cassie's drink was ROUGH! We drank for a few hours and then my family pulled up to the front of Hotel Arch. The car was full so I hopped on my bike and followed them down to S. University for that Chinese restaurant that is across from TCF bank. (I don't recall the name so I don't want to make something up like "Sparkling Dragon" that's clearly ignorant). The food was delicious but I couldn't fully enjoy it as I was DRUNK! So I was fighting with all my might to force the food down and hold my shit together as I realized that I had never been drunk in front of my parent's. By the time I returned to Hotel Arch, the group had made their way over to Prickley Pear for dinner, so I parked my bike and walked to downtown AA. Conner Oneil's Pub was in the neighborhood so I stopped by for a few drinks as I was chatting it up with these older women at the bar (wink wink). My crew told me through a text message that they were finished with dinner, so I had to use the bathroom before I left. So I turned to seek the nearest bathroom. I saw people walking into this lobby area that was empty so I followed them. I tried to open the male bathroom and it was locked. Fuck! I really had to go or I would have pissed on myself. I turned around and the woman's bathroom was slightly opened so I knocked and pushed it open saying, "Excuse me. I really have to use the bathroom and the male one locked." It was just some woman frisking herself in the mirror. So I waited for 30 seconds before I couldn't stand it any longer, so I said, "Fuck it! You can watch," as I approached the toilet. Realizing that I was serious, she then stops playing with herself and walks out of the bathroom. Sometimes you can't talk about things, you simply have to do it! So she was out of the door by the time I pulled anything out and I spent maybe 8 seconds in the bathroom as I REALLY had to go. I washed my hands and exited and my crew was now standing before me along with that woman and the manager of Conner's. He had the THICKEST Irish accent that I've ever heard and I couldn't understand him. So I assumed that she must have told him that a "Crazy black guy attacked her and kicked her out of the bathroom" or something. He kept talking and was visibly upset but I was like, "Bruh! I cannot understand you, and the alcohol isn't helping," so we all laughed and left. We ended up at Bar Louie which was a BUZZ KILL, however Andre had rejoined us with "Kitty Kat." She was this exotic, sultry petite girl that he had met in Chicago. Apparently, she was in Tri-Delta and this was a shock because I had always assumed that they only permitted prissy white girls to join their ranks. This is the same sorority that when girls are pledging they go through the prospects closet to investigate her designer labels to determine if she was "worth enough" to become one of them. (See it's things like this, which include being fake, that I wrongly assumed I wouldn't see in college. However, I quickly learned as a freshman that being an undergraduate doesn't make you any more mature than reading the New York Times or something). Kitty Kat was clearly mixed with some kind of Asian but she was stunning! So Andre I APPROVE of that message. Andre eventually left with her to go play with Kitty Kat's Kat (I couldn't resist!). Shortly after, the five of us, made our way over to S. University and I remember NONE of this. When we "go to S. University" it inevitably means we end up at Rick's so I assume that I was kissing someone, but I didn't go home with any girl, however, it was still a great night.

"Easter Weekend: The Last Hoorah: (Friday): It's My Birthday!"

          I awoke on Friday and I was still reeling from the previous nights revelations. At around the same time, Stev ventured back into the basement and it was while talking with him, that I realized that it was my birthday. I was officially 23 and I had to ponder this thought for a second. I have goals that I have written down. Goals that I would like to achieve before I am 30 and so everyday that I have not achieved them, I almost feel inept. Thus in my mini depressed state at home, I really felt like I was 29 years old. Just being in AA, reminded me of my youth. I opened my laptop and found a song that was first inspired when Amanda and I's stalemate first began. The song was called "Creepin" and I never finished it as I still had the first verse to write. So when I awoke, it was this song that I was working on when Stev returned to the basement. I have uploaded it here for you to sample, so remember that where the first verse should be is a freestyle that I just added to fill the space.

 

          Eventually Sweeny, Braun, and St. made their way down to the basement as well. Everyone wished me a happy birthday as Stev sang, "I ain't had sex in a long time." (It's a song). Apparently, he had been in a long drought as well since his breakup with 45. However, if you can recall, he had ended his drought mere hours ago with the Asian girl from Rick's. So I looked at him and said "Really?" My drought was still ongoing from late January. Thus it was concluded that the goal for my birthday was to get me laid. We had a few hours to kill as Cassie had scheduled a 1 pm lunch at Benny's. Thus we began to watch "Dante's Peak," with Pierce Brosnan. I don't how this began, but instead of watching the film for simple entertainment, we began to critique the many, flawed plot lines. For example, there was a scene where the grandmother could have easily jumped onto the lakeside deck to avoid getting burned by the sulfuric acid that was caused by the exploding volcano. Instead, like an idiot, she chose to SLOWLY wade through the water to reach the shore and seconds after she arrived on shore, she collapsed and died from her burns. They were clearly trying to write her out of the film. We continued like this for another hour but then everyone was STARVING. With the boys taking finals, and Stev and I being in the "real world," we had all woken up fairly early and so by noon, we needed food. I couldn't take it anymore, thus I grabbed some left over Chinese from when I had arrived on Wednesday. About 30 minutes later, none of the boys could stand their hunger as well, so save for Braun, we all made an executive decision to head to Benny's. As we boarded St. Amant's car, I noted how miserably rainy the weather was. For whatever reason, my birthday's have always been good for torrential downpours. The worst being when I got my first bike and it rained for a week straight. As we pulled into the Benny's parking lot, we received a text message from Cassie that she now needed a ride to Benny's, from her mom's law firm. She had wrongly assumed that her mom had left her with the car. Being that St Amant was the only one who was driving, we laughed as this obviously fell on him. His demeanor was "Fuck that!" Cassie's law firm is in downtown AA, which is the opposite direction of where Benny's is located. We would just have to meet up with her later and so we sat down to order our breakfast. Somehow we entered in a sarcastic conversation with our waitress that I had never seen. After learning that she was 30, I told her that I was turning 29 and asked what the birthday special was. She laughed and said something about bringing me soup. I never did get the soup but thanks to the lovely "Mrs. Benny," (we've never gotten her name, as she's simply "Benny's wife") my meal was free so things were looking up as we left the diner.

         We ended up back at Hotel Arch to shower and prep for our day. Somehow somebody turned the TV to "Biker Boyz" and this movie is hilarious because seemingly, any ethnic actor that's ever been in anything was this film. Rufio made an appearance, my man Booby Miles (Derek Luke), Meagan Good was absolutely delicious, Orlando Jones, Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne), Cedric the entertainer, the one black dude that used to be on "ER," It was hilarious. They were pulling brothers from EVERYWHERE. Eventually we got dressed and it was time to head over to Cassie's. Sweeny made some statement about going to the track meet and I told him, "Unless you're tryna swim to Ypsi, you better roll with us." He pondered it for a second and correctly decided that it was better to roll with Stev and I. Moments later, we were out of the door and into Cassie's car. I don't recall how we came into possession of Cassie's whip, slang for car, but about 5 minutes later we picked her up from downtown AA and headed to her place. Her and Sweeny exited the car as Stev and I had to run to Kroger to pick up some supplies. Apparently a sangria competition had been planned for the next day and so Cass needed her supplies. When we eventually returned they chided us for "taking forever" but remember we went to the north campus Kroger, so it took some time to navigate there. Funny side note, at Kroger's, we went to pick up some wine and not only did the bottle have a screw top, the name was "Flip Flop." I asked Stev, "Flip Flop? Better ask Cass if she wants quality or price." After Stev called her, what do you think she picked? We picked up some chips and salsa and headed back to Cassie's. When we arrived, Cass, Sweeny and a voluptuous black girl with long wavy hair that I had never seen were all in the apartment. Her name was Jayne, and she also worked at Cass' law firm and was in fact a high school classmate of Cassie's but as Pioneer High had thousands of kids in each class, the two did not know each other in high school. Sweeny, Stev and I sat on one side of the kitchen island, while Cass, Jayne and eventually Maria, were on the other side prepping the chips salsa and drinks. What was IMMEDIATELY apparent about Jayne were her breasts. You have to understand, I'm not even that guy to first notice this fact, as I tend to prefer the "posterior curves" (PC way of saying Big o'l BOOTY) of a girl. Also from living with Cass for more than a year, I quickly noticed that usually, she has the biggest mammary glands in a square mileage. And they once prompted Stev to shout out "Let's Go BOOBS!!!" before one of her volleyball games (Let's go blue is a Wolverine chant). Cassie turned around and simply shook her head at us as we exploded in laughter. However, the fact remained that many a free drinks for the boys of 1502, have come on behalf of Cassie's chest. Seriously guys, if you don't want to ever pay for drinks at the bar, find a female friend with GIANT breasts and make it a point to go out with her. You will quickly find that other guys are idiots as they assume that simply buying a girl drinks will automatically get her clothes off (Sometimes it works but what happens is when every other guy is also buying her drinks, she has options and can be selective). However, as we stood on the other side of the island, Jayne was going "tit for tit" with Cass. This was crazy in of itself but then to accentuate things, she was wearing a bright, yellow, wife beater as she danced, seductively, in front of us. Let's put it this way, she should have been offended if we didn't notice. We began drinking and carrying on and Jayne indicated that she was moving to LA next week. In making conversation I asked her "For what" and she said, "Riding horses." I replied with, "Like a vacation? That seems like a random affirmation?" She laughed at my point and elaborated that she took a job as a horse trainer. This girl was definitely quirky. So I replied with, "Oh, okay. And what else do you ride?" She gave me that sultry look like she knew exactly what I was referring to...riding the train. About 30 minutes after Maria had arrived, we decided to hit the town and so the 6 of us all walked out of the apartment on our way to Tomukun restaurant. 

          A funny moment occurred on our walk to Tomukun. For whatever reason, Sweeny, Cass, and Maria, all the white people, and Stev, Jayne and I bunched up in groups of threes with an impossible divide between us. Sweeny and Cass kept looking back wondering, "Why are you guys back there?" And we replied with, "Why are you guys up there?" This division of the races was funny and I am curious to if it is a sub conscious thing, or a chance occurrence. We arrived at the restaurant with the three of them waiting for us at the first table by the door. Thus, Jayne, Stev and I took our seats across from them. I made it a point to sit in between Stev and Jayne because you should never be on the edge on your birthday. When our server arrived I began to chat her up as you should ALWAYS make it a point to engage the people that handle your food. Someone that likes you or finds your presence enjoyable is less likely to spit in your shit. So I began talking to this cute girl and discovered that she was actually a bit older and had just finished her thesis. Intelligence and attractiveness, this was right up my alley, so I asked her the title of her thesis,  as I am actually supposed to be heading to a thesis defense in the near future. I swear, what she replied with was the LONGEST title of anything that has ever been written. She opened her mouth and this is what I heard, "Something something something something something something, geology, something something something something, natural, something something something something something science!" No bullshit! She had to take a breath in between saying the title before she could actually finish. I gave her a high five as we all erupted in laughter. There was NO WAY that she could have made that up if she tried. After the laughter subdued, we ordered our food, some Japanese beer, a white drink that I didn't really care for and SAKE BOMBS!!! I had always wanted 1502 to go sake bombing but that is one activity that slipped through the cracks so I was admittedly excited. When our food arrived, Jayne taught me how to use chop sticks and I could not contain my excitement! I was always that person at the Asian restaurants that had to ask for the forks, so when she showed me how to handle them enough to get some rice into my mouth, I felt like Tom Hanks in "Castaway" when he pounded his chest proudly after he had made some fire. It was exactly this motion that I reenacted saying, "Look I have used chopsticks!" Cassie found this amusing and so the table laughed. Eventually our sake bombs arrived and we were instructed to take care with these glasses as they were prone to shattering. Fail! Why offer sake bombs if you can't bomb the sake? I threw caution to the wind and said, "Fuck it!" We filled our glasses with beer and after dropping the shot glasses filled with sake into our glasses, Stev and I took the bombs. Success!!! We ended up taking about four more rounds until the beer was finished. After I got Jayne's number, I noticed that she wasn't drinking as she indicated that she was not coming out for the rest of the evening. She had to drive to Lansing to see her friends play in a band. I looked at her and said, "Woah! It's my birthday. You still have 364 days of the year to go watch your friends be lame." She laughed at this but made some lame excuse and so the table paid for our bill and headed for the exit on our way to Skeeps (Scorekeepers bar and grille). Most of the group ran ahead as a few people, including Jayne had to first use the bathroom. I decided to stand on the sidewalk and wait. When she finally exited the restaurant, I was the only one in the group that wasn't yet at Skeeps, so she asked, "Why are you waiting here?" Without hesitation, I walked right up to her, pulled her into me, and passionately kissed her as if I would never see her again (as I probably will never see her again). If memory serves correctly, that was 2 hours between the initial meeting and the first kiss, so by 1502's standards I have to shave off an hour and a half from that time (lol). I'd been out the game for a while so you have to excuse me for not being in game shape. I watched her face light up as I immediately turned around to head to Skeeps. Before I crossed the street I turned over my shoulder and asked, "So I'll see you tomorrow right?" She nodded her head in response. I knew I would never see her again so I crossed the street and headed to Skeeps.

          At Skeeps, the night began to speed up as the alcohol was starting to catch up with us. I ordered the FREE birthday burger which is almost a hidden gem of AA because many people are unaware of it. The other thing of note, was that they had dollar beers of Friday nights. Also, I ran into Tessa and her sorority sisters on a senior bar crawl, as they were about to graduate in a week. Aside from us, they basically were the only people at Skeeps. I knew it was her immediately when I walked in but we only crossed paths when her and the girls were leaving. She removed her plastic sunglasses and asked, "Oh my God. Michael O, is this really happening, why are you here?" I responded with, "Apparently it's my birthday so I'm going to get laid tonight." You have to realize, this girl and I do NOT have regular conversations. She was a neighbor from my sophomore dormitory days and on two occasions, we had hooked up in a drunken stupor. It was not memorable as the first time she actually said to me, "I'm NOT going to be fucked like dog!" This was a letdown as doggy style is one of my go to positions when I'm trying to put it down. Besides, I didn't like her like that to only do missionary, and so by senior year, I began to decline all of her advances to the point where she once told me, "No! I've learned a lot PLEASE come over so I can show you." Once during senior year, I almost fell for this, but as I sat in her room, I couldn't bring myself to make a move so I simply left. Thus before she left Skeeps, she looked up at me and said, "Well, we'll probably end up at Rick's so if you come and find me, you can fuck me on your birthday." I looked down at her and said, "Okay!" Nothing else happened of note at Skeeps and so shortly after, my group headed to Redhawk bar and grille on State St. Now, I was really feeling the alcohol, so I mostly did a lot of sitting and listening. Sean, one of Cassie's ex flames, made an appearance and you HAVE TO read the story that their first encounter inspired in my novel "Galfing: A Young Man's Guide." Also, I learned that Maria did not know how to find her pin on her Crackberry, which means that she did not know how to fully use BBM. This is the first thing that any Blackberry user should immediately familiarize themselves with as the pin can be displayed in the BBM profile or by pressing the Blackberry symbol key then going to  "Options" then  "Status." I shook my head at this revelation as it must be the Michigan State in her. Shortly after, we made our way across campus to Charley's and I remember NONE of this. We may have ordered "Longest Islands" but I cannot be sure. Soon enough it was time for Rick's so we rounded up the troops and headed over.

          I do not recall MUCH of our time at Rick's, but I remember thinking that outside of Jane and her rowing teammates, there were not a lot of girls at Ricks. Side note: Jane is Cassie's little sister and after playing lacrosse her freshman year, our senior year, she had now switched to rowing and was flourishing. In two years she is going to be running campus as she has that type of opposite personality, which is completely opposite  of Cassie. For example, Cassie might think about something and worry, Jane simply does it and deals with the consequences later. However, it was still unsettling that all of these young kids could easily get into Rick's now. There used to be a time when getting into Rick's meant something, seemingly nowadays any jackass with a terrible fake ID can get in. After 1 am, I noticed that Stev did not have girl either, so it really must have been slim pickings, but I just knew that tonight was my night. At around 1:40 I could feel the onset of last call and so I took one more look around the bar, and almost by divine intervention, our eyes simultaneously made contact. It was Serah, this med student from California that I had hooked up with once. I had always wanted to hook up with her again, but she would always hit me with lame excuses. However, as I looked into her eyes I realized that she was now thinking exactly what I was thinking, so I walked right up to her kissed her. No words were needed as it was instant attraction. We kissed for about 10 minutes, before I managed to pull my head back and say, "It's my birthday and I'm taking you home." It wasn't a request and like a soldier that knew how to fall in line, she looked up at me and said, "Okay!" At last call, she told me that she had to find her friend, and if it was the girl that I was thinking about,  I KNEW that she would be hunting Stev, so I told Serah not to worry about her. Serah and I made our way up the stairs of Rick's and actually ran into Stev as we hit the door. The rain that had subsided at Skeeps was now at a fever pitch and so Serah opened an umbrella as we stepped outside, while Stev walked off. As we were opening the umbrella, a girl behind us screamed out at the top of her lungs, "I'M BEING CHOKED RIGHT NOW AND I'M NOT EVEN HAVING SEX!!!" What?!?! Everyone turned around to see Paige, one of Jane's rowing teammates, horsing around with a football player. It would be Paige that would say that, as she was a wild one. In fact, most rowers are wild girls. Another thing to note about Michigan rowers is that they have a LONG history with the football players and black guys in general. The thing is that to row those giant boats, means that most of those girls are bigger than the average dude, except for the "coxswain," or navigator. Thus they tend to like the bigger, aggressive type of dudes and so the football team provides the perfect stable. I remember the first rower that I met at Michigan. It was freshman year, French class, and her name was Becca Larson. She was one year ahead of me and all kinds of sexy as I believe that she was a redhead at the time. Our seats were assigned next to each other and so when I would ask her things like, "Hey what's the time?"she would start to laugh. I'm funny but not THAT funny, so CLEARLY, she liked her coffee black! She would always invite me out to Touchdowns (no longer in existence due to numerous fights) but as I didn't yet possess a fake ID, I couldn't yet get in. And when I would see her at other venues, she somehow ALWAYS managed to attract the likes of Mike Hart, Kevin Grady, etc, star running backs WHEN we were good. In case you are unaware, Michigan football players are treated like demi-gods in AA, so I looked at it like either compete with these guys or go for a sure thing. I never made a move, thus Becca Larson if you ever read this, "What time is it?"

          The rain was angrily pouring down now and so Serah and I turned left and began to walk to her place. In making conversation I said, "You know I've never hooked up in the rain." She looks at me, grabs my harm forcefully and pulls me into the alley in between two houses. In the next moment, we were furiously going at it just under the window of one of the houses, as the rain beat down on top of us. Through one of her moans she managed to say, "I NEED you now" and I laughed in response. Little did she know the ass whopping that I had in store for her body. We eventually make it back to her place and I was soaked. I went to grab some water from kitchen, while she went to the bathroom. Moments later we were naked in her bed. She LOVES wearing robes and so I was on my back as I watched her walk into the room and de-robe, before climbing on top off me. Like the first time that we had hooked up, I watched as her enormous breasts cascaded on top of me. She has the largest breasts of anyone that I've ever hooked up with and I remember feeling like I had alligator arms, as I attempted to catch them. Now this is the first naked woman that I've seen since January, so I grab her and forcefully flip her over. With precision, I ripped off her panties in one fluid motion and I dived between her legs. I had remind myself of what a woman tasted like. Serah was delicious! So with my tongue I ravaged her, over and over and over again. She came like three times before we started having sex. Serah is one of those girls that her reputation precedes her as she is the definition of a wild girl. However, when I first entered her, the first time that we hooked up, I remember having the thought that she was entirely tight and cozy. I recall having this same thought as I entered her again and so we began to have sex and she felt SOO good. With excitement, I'm BEATING her up and she is cumming and cumming, which is followed by a trip to the bathroom after every time. Thus after her second trip to the bathroom, I in turn, grab my cup and head to the kitchen to refill it. As I entered the hallway, the front door opens up and Stev and Serah's friend arrive. I walk up to them, balls out, and begin a conversation. They, especially her, can't get over the fact that I am standing, semi-erect, and non nonchalantly in front of them, so they keep laughing. I hadn't had sex since January, so I didn't give a fuck. I felt like Adam in the Garden of Eden, entirely unaware by my nakedness. I made my way back to the room and Serah is awaiting me as she is now kneeling on the edge of the bed on all fours. I have to say this. This girl's body is BUILT for sex! Anything that a man can take delight in, on a woman's body, this girl possesses. Thus she is part of this new phenomenon of white girls possessing asses. Back in the day, white girls used to have bony butts, or the kinds that curve inwards, or the "stick figure" look or WORST, no butt at all. However, with the onset of rap or other black related topics , some of them started to evolve and black guys EVERYWHERE began to take notice. The rise in interracial relations in this country is directly proportionate to this fact because not too long ago, it was not "cool" for white girls to be curvy. Everyone wanted that "tall, leggy blond" look, so a mere 6 years ago, NO ONE, but the brothers, gave a fuck about Kim Kardashian. Remember, Paris Hilton was the it girl for the moment. So as I saw Serah's curvy behind awaiting me, the animal came out of me and took over. I entered her and furiously began to give her long, deep, hard strokes as I was urged on by her eager moans. I was standing and so I placed my right hand down on the desk that was directly beside her bed,  so in a moment, things began to fall off desk with every second. Stev can tell the story better as he told me the next morning that at one point, the house began to shake. Thus he said he was content simply listening until his girl got jealous asking, "Hey why are we not having sex?" So he obliged her request. Serah kept moaning "Harder!, Harder!!, Harder!!!," and so I kept going faster and faster until I finally climaxed. As I did, the nearly three months of no sex flashed before my eyes. I felt like I had been baptized in the waters of "Lake Serah" so I collapsed into her a new man. For a moment, we lay motionless in her bed, as we both had to catch our breaths. After rolling over she looked over at me, and obviously gassed, she managed to say, "I think you broke me!...But in a good way." I could only laugh and once again I was desperately thirsty and so I grabbed my cup to head to the kitchen, while Serah ventured into the bathroom. As I hit the hallway again, Stev was standing there half erect, with his condom still on. We could only manage a laugh, and a high five, as we walked by each other. I swear, I must have drank 7 full cups of water and I was still thirsty. Eventually, I managed to return to the room but the door was locked. I walked back to the living room and noted that Stev was not with his girl so he must have entered the room with Serah. Were we about to swap??? I grew excited. Stev, Wheeler, and I had once joked about swapping our girls once upon a time, but lately Stev and I have been very serious about accomplishing this. He was definitely in the room with Serah and so I walked to the futon where his girl was laying and began talking to her to gauge her interest. Mind you, Serah is the HOTTEST out of all of her friends, so her friend should wish that I would want to hook up with her. However, this was entirely by chance and Stev and I had laid no groundwork for a proper swap, so his girl was ENTIRELY lost as she rolled over and curled up on the futon. Being a gentleman, I couldn't just spoon with her entirely naked so she threw me a pillow as I sat on the edge of the other couch and watched the rain. Moments later, Stev emerged from the room giddy like a school girl as he said, "Thanks Mike." Apparently, she wasn't aware that it was him when she returned from the bathroom and so as she climbed into bed with him, he reached out and grabbed her ass when she said, "No! I need a few days." I laughed at this fact and told him at least he got that close. His girl was bullshitting, so we slapped fives and promised to tackle the swapping issue soon enough. I returned to the room and climbed back into bed with Serah, and before I passed out. I managed to say, "That's HOW you do a birthday!"

Easter Weekend: The Last Hoorah: (Thursday): "She Did What?!?!?(part 2)"

          With pitcher in hand, Stev and I made our way towards State St and into Blue Front. It was around 6 or 7 in the evening so by 1502 standards, we were on par to the start of a pre-game. We picked up a 24 case of Bud Light and as we approached the counter to pay we noticed a brightly, colored starry sign that advertised a 5th of Three Olives vodka that was on sale for $13 dollars. Now Three Olives is a respectable brand of vodka that usually retails around the $20 dollar mark, so curiosity got the better of us. Plus when you are drunk, you tend to notice bright and shiny things. I looked at the collection of bottles on the counter, and after noting that there was only one flavor I had but one question. "What the fuck is passion fruit?" No one has ever walked up to me and handed me some "passion fruit." I wasn't aware that a fruit could invoke so much emotion that someone actually decided to name it "passion fruit." So I looked up at the attendant and queried him. "Wait a minute! What game are you guys playing here." I told him that I worked in retail thus when something is priced drastically lower than it should be, someone is CLEARLY trying to get rid of it. ESPECIALLY when, just above his shoulder were the rest of the Three Olives brand, lined up among the shelves. I looked at him and said, "Buddy is it that bad? For $13 dollars, I'm drunk and curious enough to still buy it but between me and you, is it that bad?" He started blushing sheepishly like a pre-pubescent girl who has just seen her first penis. He then tried to sell us with a thick, un-American accent and I could see right through this weak attempt. So I looked at him and said, "Cut the bullshit, I already said that I'm going to buy it. It's that bad isn't it?" I observed him try, and desperately fail, to hold back a giant smile as he looked away and started to shake his head. It was too funny so we just paid and grabbed our purchases on our way back to Hotel Arch. 

          As soon as we returned to the basement, we got the music going and decided to tackle the passion fruit first, as Stev placed the Bud Light in the fridge. We poured our mixed drinks and from the instant that the drink hit my palette, I SHUDDERED at the awfulness that was assaulting my taste buds. Stev and I looked at each saying, "That's WHY it's $13 dollars!" We were laughing but it was that bad. So Three Olives if you're reading this I'm VERY disappointed that you would put your brand to such a distasteful drink! You could have fooled me that I was drinking Burnett's, or Mohawk, or the rest of that swill (Don't get me started). Stev and I were in too good of a mood so we decided to press forward and un-passionately drink the rest of this so called passion fruit. On two separate occasions a funny moment arose as Joe and Jack both came downstairs and after peeking in the fridge said, "What the fuck is going on here! You guys have been down here raging for two and half hours and there's only 3 beers gone from the Bud pack?" At first, in my drunken stupor, I was with them like, "Yea! What the fuck!" Who dares question 1502's drinking merits? However, I thought about it and realized that Stev and I had been drinking for a while from Charley's to the bottle of passion fruit that was 3/4ths of the way consumed. After explaining this fact we all had a good laugh. Quick side note: I recently discovered that both Joe and Jack have "John" as their given names. Maybe the next time that I see them I will attempt to use "John,"  but it already seems weird enough by how I've come to imagine them. 

          Stev had  showered first so as he was donning his evening wear I followed suit into the shower. After getting dressed I was returning to the couch to continue our drinking when Stev and I struck  up a conversation that I had no business hearing first from him. I do not recall exactly, but he must have asked me about my first live show, a week earlier on Wednesday. Thus during that conversation I said to him, "Oh yea! Amanda called me right before the show to wish me luck." He replied with, "Oh that's cool. She was actually just in Baltimore and invited me to come out to a wedding reception." (To understand how FURIOUS I'm about to be, you must read the previous posts). I was slightly ahead of him as we were walking towards the front of the basement to continue our drinking, thus when what he said sunk in, I immediately turned around and demanded, "SHE DID WHAT?!?!" Stev continued with, "Yea about 2 weeks ago, she hit me up and said that she was in Baltimore for her friends wedding and that I should come and hangout with her. And actually, like I told her, the only reason that I didn't go was because I was in Atlantic City with Stann for a bachelor party. Noting my displeasure he continued with, "Yea, now I think about it, it was weird how she ended the text with, "Oh yea, me and Mike don't talk anymore." "How did she even have your number," I asked? But I answered my own question as I thought about it. When we had a mini reunion in late January in AA, Amanda had come on that trip with me. At the time I didn't have a phone so I had to text my sister and Stev through her phone. That Friday, Stev was being an ass and not responding to my text messages so her I went out together. It was the next night that all of us hung out and so she only met Stev for 5 hours tops, where she was with me the whole time. Yet this was somehow enough time to save his number? After that trip I remember that Stev told me that he had accidentally contacted that number thinking that it was me, and she told me the same thing so it wasn't an issue. Sadly, it was shortly after that January trip that her and I stopped talking in any form. Stev didn't know because I was suffering in silence and so the only person that knew was Ray when he called me once and asked me how I was doing. Imagine these dates. I'm discovering all of this on April 21st, so save for her calling me a week prior before my first show, I had no contact with this girl since February 15th; and that was over text message. I had not spoken or seen her since the end of January. As our conversation continued, I learned from Stev that after his accidental messages to her, she would randomly text him out of the blue asking him what he was up to and starting random conversations. So when she said that her I "don't talk anymore" that can be interpreted as "talking" in the dating sense. What in fact was happening was that her and I were not even on speaking terms in any fashion, on the phone, text message, Facebook, Skype, instant messenger, nothing! Thus I'm learning that ALL WHILE I'm at home missing this girl something awful, for over two and a half months, she been making attempts to carouse with one of my best friends. IS SHE FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! Here's what made it worse. A week prior, when she had called me to wish me luck on the show, she told me fact after fact from her recent traveling spree, to her buying a new car, to what was going on with him, AND that she had just returned from a wedding in Baltimore. Guess what she CONVENIENTLY chose to leave out? Thus whether she was purposely trying to hurt me or not, one word about trying to hang out with Stev and this would have been a none issue. All I would have sarcastically said is, "That's not cool. Trying to hangout with my boy and we're not speaking," but then it would have been over. 

          I must say though. If your girl and your friends can't get along, then you either need new friends or a new girl, thus I would hope that her and Stev could hangout and have fun together. In fact with my knowledge, her Stev could have passionate sex and it would not bother me one bit. If anything I would be there holding a camera, offering tips, getting them drinks, etc. Stev and I have long been intending to swap partners so sooner or later it's going to happen or at least the Devil's Threesome. This is how highly I regard Stev, he's my "brother from another," it's all love. Notice however, that all of this would be with my knowledge. What kept bothering me was why did she feel the need to conceal this from me? During that phone conversation, she told me everything imaginable except this fact and so it means she PURPOSELY chose to leave it out? So I'm left to ponder why do people tell lies of omission? If I didn't care about Amanda then this would have been a none issue but I was steps from falling in love with girl. This was the first girl that I've even KIND OF opened up to, so it felt like utter betrayal and here was the kicker. She had a friend Jessica that I had actually made out with once upon a time at a summer party, but it meant nothing and all of this was before I met Amanda. Thus I would always tease her saying, "Why don't we call Jessica over and make this a threesome." She would always snap back, "No! That's my friend, it would never be her." Thus the week before my show, Facebook indicated that it was Jessica's birthday. I actually debated wishing her a happy birthday but then I ultimately decided against it because out of respect for Amanda, I didn't want to make it seem like I was carrying on with her friend, when her and I were not even on speaking terms. I respected her feelings on Facebook, online with 1's and 0's, how much more real fucking life? She shouldn't even have had his number so I don't care if she needed Stev to go save some hungry orphans. Those little motherfuckers better learn to hunt, if that was the last resort! I'm being funny but I'm SOO SERIOUS. I don't care if she was in a fatal car accident, and somehow Wheeler was across the street playing WOW, Cassie was foraging for nuts and berries, Stev was eating a watermelon; slowly, and Chin was solving an algorithm or something, with her dying breath she better call Jesus, before she thought to call one of my friends, when "her and Mike don't talk anymore." IS SHE FUCKING KIDDING ME? Notice how there were no mutual friends in that list as these are all people that she would ONLY meet through me; if you call 5 hours "meeting someone." So someone PLEASE tell me if I am wrong? I want to be a bigger man and I'll quickly apologize if I am? Her trying to get at Stev is like me trying to hookup with untouchables like Nicknames, Laura, Camarillo, or Kiph (This one is really shocking as it's a guy so CLEARLY it's for Cassie's amusement :). I was LIVID but I calmly managed to ask Stev, "If anything had happened, would you have told me?" He admitted that he would have and his friend I have to hold him to his word. That's what real friends do. They tell you things even if it will upset you and especially when they are involved. Thus you as their friend can now respect that they came to you, so you may be initially mad but you guys can eventually work it out. This is how it should be. A lot of people like to believe the lie, NOT ME. I don't care what it is. You hurt me now, and let me deal with the consequences or PRAY to God I don't find out through some back channels because that's when I can't help but to get FURIOUS. Making a mistake is one thing, we're human, shit happens, but then to try to conceal said mistake is like adding insult to injury. It's like stabbing me in the back was NOT enough, you had to use the rusted, serrated dagger, in hopes that I catch an infection as well (lol. If it wasn't me, I would be laughing my ass off). I digress. 

          So from my tone, it's safe assume that my night was ruined. As much as I tried to not let it bother me, this was an impossibility in my inebriated state. At Rick's, I was a shade of my former self but there was not an overabundance of girls. I did see one girl on stage that was facing me and so as I went to grab her hand Stev, swooped in, with hawk like precision and grabbed her from behind. CLEARLY he hadn't been out of the game for as long as I, so his reflexes were a bit quicker. It was no biggie as she turned out to be Asian, his first one, so congrats on that (Long Story, but I'm turned off from Asians for a while, I'll explain in a future post). Thus Stev went home with the Asian and I returned to Hotel Arch. I called Ray after 2 am and he didn't pick up, so before falling asleep I brought myself to text her. When I'm trying to get over someone, I delete their number but as she had contacted me last week to wish me luck on my show, I found her number in my log and sent this message. "Ayo y would u hit up my dude in bmore tryna hang out with him??? Talking bout some 'me and mike don't talk no more' if you don't talk2 me u don't talk2 my boys." Before I fell asleep a tightness developed in my chest, that admittedly has been there since I found out, and so it was this somber thought that carried me off to sleep. 

Easter Weekend: The Last Hoorah: (Thursday): "She Did What?!?!?(part 1)"

          I awoke on Thursday and immediately had work to do. My visit to AA that weekend was mostly pleasure but I had to get the business out of the way. I had scheduled a 1:00 pm meeting with my academic adviser at Angell Hall and being that it was about 3 hours before then, I decided to venture around campus. I brushed my teeth and went upstairs. Everyone had a final at some point in the day, so the house was quiet save for ESPN coming from Joe's TV. Before heading outside, I borrowed some flip flops from Sweeny's room and donned my blue Chicago Cub's hat that Chin had gifted me during our secret Santa. For whatever reason he thought that I didn't like it and this was not the case. I seldom wore it because I wanted to get "1502" inscribed on the side, but that would mean heading to my "guy" in the hood who does that work. I hadn't been to his store in about a year and a half but I loved the hat. Thus I made it a point to pack the hat on this trip to AA. By the way AA is "Ann Arbor" it just gets tedious writing out the actual letters when "AA" suffices. I headed out of Hotel Arch and unlike when I had arrived the night before, the sun was shining and people were walking about. This was the AA that I remembered. I threw my headphones into my ear and thumbed through my Crackberry for Big Sean's "My Last." It seemed like the perfect soundtrack for this Easter rendezvous in AA. As recent graduates, you tend to know the people ahead of you, and few classes below you, thus we realized that any future visits to AA would be different because we were now "Alumni." Gone would be the days of simply crashing on someone's couch, so we had to get it in this weekend. I turned left from Hotel Arch and made my way towards Angell Hall. I observed the various students walking back and forth from studying or taking their finals and I couldn't help but wonder if they appreciated their unique position as Wolverines. Personally, as soon as I came to appreciate my time in AA it was over. Thus my walk that morning was filled with nostalgia at all the different locations I had once been. I made my way to Angell Hall and continued browsing around as I had some time to kill. Graduation was around the corner so an enormous white banner was hung in the hall with the title being, "Before I Die I Want To..." With markers the students were supposed to write out their aspirations so I was naturally drawn to read some of the notations as people interest me. I was a sociology major after all. 

          As I began to read some of the posts, I realized that A LOT of people do not know how to dream. I once had this conversation with Amanda that a dream should be something that's out of the ordinary. Maybe it's just me being an immigrant and having this concept of the "American Dream" but a dream should be as extravagant as possible, and a lot of what I was reading was stupid. "I want to cross the street." Really? That's what you're going with? You can do anything in this world before you die and "You want to cross the street"??? Obviously I'm exaggerating with that one but most of them were matter of fact statements that didn't seem to fit like the "I want to go to Subway" post. I was left asking, How is this noteworthy? Is going to Subway that arduous? Shit if you don't like meat, they have the veggie sub, right? The only movie that I ever walked out of and wanted to turn around and  immediately walk back into was "Inception." My takeaway from the film was that "the most contagious thing in this world is an idea," because as humans we have this unique ability to drastically change the world around us and on the same token destroy it. No other creature on earth can claim this hence why we are higher beings than animals (I'm about to go on a tangent but I have to say this). 

          At Angell Hall, we once had this debate in philosophy about animals. If we as humans didn't have the acumen to have technology, and we were out there foraging with the animals, do you think that wolves, and bears, and lions and tigers, and alligators, etc would have fireside chats to determine if they wanted to eat us? "I'm not going to hunt Michael today, it might hurt his feelings." No! This is why PETA and some of these vegetarians slay me. This is America and you have a right not to eat meat, but shut the fuck up with that "holier than thou attitude." So if I recall correctly, the philosophical argument was that "all animals are the same and we should regard all of them equally and avoid behavior that purposely harms them." Do you realize how many insects get "murdered" on your windshield by simply driving your car? Following that logic, we shouldn't drive, fly planes, or have any kind of transportation. Thus if you are not nimble enough to tip-toe everywhere, you should probably lay in bed all day because you don't want to hurt the animals. Insects are animals too. So I would ask, what separates an insect from a chinchilla from a dog? Oh I get it! It's only animals that you like, you know the "totally cute/cuddly ones!" You see the hypocrisy. I love animals and would never want them to be purposely hunted towards extinction, but if you farm alligators/chinchillas for example, with the sole purpose of making hats, and coats and shoes, there is nothing wrong with that! Michael Vick went to jail for two years for dog fighting! He was wrong as you shouldn't be cruel to animals so you fine him, or suspend him or whatever, but two years in jail was excessive. OJ KILLED a motherfucker, and got less time; allegedly. In 1977, Roman Polanski DRUGGED and RAPED a 13 year old girl, and to this day is hiding out from the US in Europe, while making Oscar award winning films that you go and see, and got less time; allegedly. Shit in the same NFL, people have been busted for slanging cocaine, shooting people, beating their wives, and killing people in DUI accidents and they all received less time than Mike Vick. Are you kidding me? Admittedly, Vick was an asshole so they wanted to make an example out of the rich, cocky, black athlete. However, two years in a jail system, that we all admit is overcrowded, was excessive. This is why they laugh at us in other countries because we have become so PC in America. So in ending my mini rant, do you know what they call dogs in other countries? DINNER! Think about it.


          So in returning to my point about dreams, they should be as un-ordinary as possible. When you think about it, some of the greatest inventions in this world, the inventors didn't set out to be "great." They were simply curious. Once upon a time cavemen were walking around with square wheels. All it took was some drunk asshole from "Cave Ricks" to be like, "What if those wheels were round?" At first someone would have said, "Shut up Bob!" Until someone would actually think about it and say, "No! what if they were round?" The rest is history. Or when one guy is driving down the street and another guy is driving towards him in the opposite direction. BOOM! They suddenly crash and are hurled towards each other. "Hey, you got peanut butter in my chocolate," would come one guy. "You got chocolate in my peanut butter," would return the other, and before they died, the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup was invented. Bill Gates didn't invent the computer, his only desire was to make it simpler to use. Now he is the second richest man on earth. This would not have been possible without the thought of "what if" or "why not?" Thus when Sweeny says that he wants to one day be President, I'm pretty certain that it did not occur like this. One day he was masturbating  in his window at Hotel Arch and as he was nearing climax he shouted out through the window, "I WANT TO BE PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD!!!" Rather, it was an idea that took root into his head somewhere as a boy. Thus when he eventually made it to Michigan he majored in pre-law. Then he got accepted into law school and more than likely, he will try to work in a public office to set himself up to one day run for the Presidency. Thus if he ever achieves this dream, you will be able to back track and look at all the decisions that helped him reach that position. However none of it would have been possible without a dream that began as a tiny thought. I continued to read the banner and I did laugh at the "I want to have sex in the stacks" post. Who would do that? Admittedly I am very proud that I am the only member of 1502 to achieve this. Wheeler led the way, but the study carrels are NOT the same thing as the actual stacks. I eventually met with my adviser and we talked about life, my student loans, and grad school. I learned about "InCircle," which is social networking that is exclusive to Michigan alumni. People post job offers, and roommate searches, etc, and it is all free. I had wrongly assumed that all of those alumni services required money. I left his office feeling inspired as this was the type of guidance that I was missing at home. I hung out with my sister for a few hours and as I returned to Hotel Arch, E was dropping Stev off.
          
          As the house was still empty we decided to head straight to Charley's to begin our epic weekend. To be honest, the most fun that I have ever had at Charley's has been in the daytime. I remember after my last final as an undergrad, Stev met me at Charley's and we spent two hours getting shit faced but it was FUN! We arrived at Charley's and took our seat. The place was busy but we managed to find an empty table to the right of the entrance. We talked about everything that we were up to since we had last seen each other in January and our graduate school plans. Remember, I don't go out drinking at home so with the sun shining outside, it was good simply laughing and being around girls. We ordered our pitchers of beer and I felt so good that I decided to drink straight out of the pitcher. It was that kind of day, where no glasses were needed. Everyone around us commended me on the decision. The only buzz kill were this shift of servers. This was the most unattractive collection of women that I had ever seen wearing those red and black Charley's shirts. I'll use this analogy. Everyone knows that there's a difference between JV and varsity athletes...These were REPLACEMENT players! I half wanted to say, "Don't worry about it sweetheart. I'll go get my next drink, so that I can tip myself!" Stev and I drank and laughed for about two hours before we decided that it was time to officially start our pregame. When we decided to leave, I still had some beer in my second pitcher and so I decided to stand up and simply walk out with pitcher in hand, and a bottle of "Clancey's Gourmet Hot Sauce." Side note on Clancey's, I do not know what they put into those tiny bottles of hot sauce but it MUST be crack because I am hooked! Before returning to Hotel Arch, we decided to pick up some liquor/beer at Blue Front before Stev told me something that "grinds my gears" every time that I think about it...

Go Cubs? Or 1502...

That Crack!