"Legal...Schmegal"

     In writing about these events I've found that I am a bit uneasy about writing about actual people. This was one of the first challenges of writing "Galfing: A Young Man's Guide." This is due to the fact that everyone knows that you DON'T kiss and tell. When I met Grant, the guy that eventually led me to meet the rest of 1502, somehow in a joking mode, I proposed the idea of "G-Fax.com." The idea entered my head after watching a Carfax commercial as I wondered "Hey wouldn't that be convenient for dating?" When you first met someone, before things progressed seriously, you could simply type their name into G-Fax and a report on their dating history would appear. There would be a rating system, comments from ex lovers, and interesting tidbits that one may like to know such as, whether they were an axe murderer. Did they have 3 kids? Is that bump REALLY an ingrown hair? Humor aside, you NEVER know these days and so I still contend that this is a great idea. The problem however comes with actually implementing such a site because I envisioned it being a useful reference for daters and not a campus gossip site. 

     How would you prevent individuals from filing false reports on their exes? For example, if a couple breaks up, as is standard when dating, but one individual does not take it too well, how would G-Fax prevent the jaded lover from writing something such as "So-and-so likes to watch kiddie porn?" G-Fax can only know what is submitted onto the site because the details of any relationship are best known to those 2 individuals (more for my polygamist enthusiasts). Can you imagine the hassle of contacting a couple to confirm some fact? You could ask them about the same situation and receive 10 different answers because believe it or not, most exes do not get together every Friday night for ice cream and a game of UNO. Even more serious, the hassle of fighting a slander lawsuit sounds about as exciting as taking a sperm shot in the eye (I hear it burns). So when I began writing my project I made the decision to implement pseudo names because I was hesitant about outing real people. For those who are unaware, "Galfing" is a dating/relationship concept that my roommates and I invented and implemented during our senior year at The University Of Michigan. The project began simply as I wanted to write the official guide to "Galfing" with rules, and examples and the such. Thus I was unsure of the legal ramifications of using real names.

     However, once I began writing, the words gushed out of me like Moses striking the rock. What started as a guide quickly morphed into a novel. There was no need for fake names anymore due to the fact that when you label something as "fiction" then it is assumed that creative liberties have been taken, but because I had already started as such I kept the pseudo names. However in regards to my blog, I don't give a fuck! This is my life and these things have happened. So I don't write to hurt or embarrass anyone. I simply write what I know, what I feel. Thus if you are offended that I didn't describe you as God's gift to the human race, feel free to send your concerns to http://michaeldoesntgiveafuckaboutyou.blogspot.com/. There under the tab that's labeled "Just Pull The Trigger! No One Will Miss You" is a link where you can send your hate mail. My assistant, "Mike Rotch" will be sure to forward them to me. Besides, seemingly everyone that I know nowadays is a lawyer so "come and get me!"