Saturday, July 16, 2011

Porter/Offili Wedding: Friday Night

          As was custom, I hopped onto my motorcycle with my backpack on my back and packed, I headed onto the highway towards the highway to travel to AA. The Waithe's were in town(minus Stevie), Smilez, Dre, you name it, many people were going to be in town because Porter was FINALLY tying the knot with Ofilli. Since I began hanging with all these track stars, I had heard of the ensuing wedding and I wanted to go because Porter was inviting damn near EVERYBODY. A few weeks back, at 1502's Easter reunion, he had suggested that Dre could bring a date. I told Dre that if he didn't find a date he should invite me, and so he agreed. The wedding approached and I heard nothing from him, can't say I was shocked. Let me elaborate. 

          Dre is notorious for falling short on certain endeavors and engagements. The summer before 1502 was born, I found myself alone in the house this certain weekend. Wheeler, Stev, and Chin were home for the summer and Cass had a volleyball thing, or was vacationing with her family or hunting down black bananas to impregnate our fridge with for her banana bread that everyone but her was aware she would NEVER make, I digress but the point is I was home alone. Coming off junior year, 5th Quarter was still respectable to venture into, thus when I received the text invite from somebody, I accepted and went. I made my way in and one of the first people I witnessed was Dre. Seeing a friendly face, we exchanged pleasantries and Dre tells me he is hosting his friends from somewhere faraway like Kalamazoo. He then invited me to his after party. I said, "Cool, where is it?" "Your house." "Oh you DON'T say Dre!" I laughed and simply said, "Just inform me earlier if you're going to throw a party at my house." Thus for the rest of the night, Dre invited people, mostly girls,  to said after party. He was a man on a mission and so at the end of the night, we expected a decent turnout. As we headed for the exits, we coordinated the liquor purchasing and all. Dre disappears. I was standing with his friends so we all decide to head over to Bell's Pizza while they try to locate Dre. We get the pizza and return to the car, and 40 minutes elapsed and we hear NO reply from Dre, no calls, texts, emails, carrier pigeons, etc. His friends, 3 guys and a girl, get PISSED! Finally Dre responds and texts that the after party is "canceled." The whole car lets out a collective "This Nigga!" "Motherfucker!" "Oh he's just not going tell anyone?" I'm laughing, the girl was passing out next2 me in the backseat but the 2 dudes are LIVID! Through bouts of expletive laden statements, they make the executive decision to drive back home at 3:30 in the morning instead of spend the night. Then it hits me, "Fuck! I gotta get back to the crib." Kindly they drop me off, and I point them towards the highway and sure enough, there were people on our front lawn like a Dave Matthew's concert. So I get to shooing them away and for the next two hours, people showed up for the after party. Funny side note to this side story, I later discovered that from Bell's, Dre had been less than 1 minute away from us, at those apartments on top of Blue Front. So though we didn't know it at the time, when his friends told him that we were awaiting him at Bell's, he knew he was less than a stone's throw away from us. Oh Dre. As you can imagine he was doing his thing, with a certain young lady. She played a sport, which involves a ball.

          A few months later, during fall of our senior year, Dre planned this elaborate party. He hyped it for what seemed like 2 months, it was all over Facebook, the drinks were described as "unlimited," and he even hired a professional DJ. This was supposed to be a BANGER because it was labled "The Party Of The Year!" I grew excited! One thing I never liked about Ann Arbor is that Friday nights tend to be dead and it's because of Football. People will go out HARD on Thursdays, chill Fridays so that they can get up to tailgate on Football Saturdays. This is what led us to create our "Live from 1502" events, which you can read in my novel "Galfing: A Young Man's Guide." So I was REALLY excited for this party and in fact that Friday night, Cass had a volleyball game so after Chin, Stev, Wheeler, and I cheered her on with such classics like "Put Cassie In!" and "Let's Go Boobs!", we rushed home to eat, shower and get freshly dressed for the evening. As the four of us, stepped onto our tiny porch, our phones chirped in unison. Everyone retrieved their phone and...."This nigga!" Dre struck again! This man had thrown the "Party Of The Year" and 30 minutes after it was scheduled to start, he was contacting everyone he knew, asking for......A HOUSE! I could not believe this shit, as everyone exploded in laughter but I was kind of hurt. That evening, I made NO other plans, I told people where to find me, it was all over my Facebook, and I wasn't addicted to Call Of Duty like the boys were, so my night was shot. We would have let him host at 1502, but for the numbers he was projecting, our house was too small and it would have been too much work on too short notice. Despondently, I threw my hands in the air and turned around saying, "I quit!" Sure enough, the boys turned on the XBOX and I walked to my room to go to bed. Dre graduated at the end of fall semester and we saw him sparingly after that, but if it weren't for my music, I WOULDN'T consider him a friend today. He was one of the first people to realize I was serious with my music and I must say this. I recall one night, as I was coming from, or on my way to Rick's and I ran across Dre. He was with his cousin and two cute girls and after introducing me, he says, "Hey Mike, I wanna be your manager." I was drunk, but I promptly sobered up, cocked my head, squinted my eyes, raised one eyebrow and said, "Really, umm....we'll talk about it." Oh Dre. However, to his credit he came through on many of the beats I used on my first musical project "No Spaces."

          Fast forward to the Friday before the Porter/Ofilli nuptials and I knew I wasn't going to the wedding because Dre had struck again, but it was still going to be a fun time so I hopped onto my bike and rode down M-14 towards Ann Arbor. On my way, this certain car was riding my ass in the slow lane. Thus I drift left for him to pass me, and just then a fierce gust of wind rips through my  chest and the music I was listening to suddenly stops. I reached for my pocket because I figured a bump must have accidentally pushed a button, but then I couldn't feel my phone! Frantically, I patted around and still could not feel it in my pocket, and then the grim realization of what must have occurred struck me. "FUCK!!!!!!" At that split second, I thought about turning around in the grassy median and attempting to find my Crackberry but with the busy highway and me on a motorcycle that was sure to lead to death. I looked to my right and some jackass is pointing backwards and violently shaking his head up and down, confirming my fear. The rest of the ride towards AA was one long exercise in expletives for expressing extreme emotion. I get to town and I have no way of contacting my sister or anyone else. I made my way over to Hotel Arch and it was locked because apparently there was a track meet. I then realized that aside from my number and my mom's old work number, I know ZERO phone numbers by heart. Remember when you had to memorize phone numbers? Technology is a bitch! I hopped back onto my bike and said, "Think Michael!" For some reason I decide to head to the library. I assumed that with the computers, I could utilize Facebook, or email to contact someone. I walked into the Ugli (Undergraduate Library) and the first person I saw in the main room was none other than Jen! Jen was the ultimate "guys girl" and we shared a kiss once upon a time and were supposed to hook up but it never happened and I don't recall why. However, she was a class ahead of me so I assumed she was on her "grown woman" and being a dedicated nurse. However I learned that she was also in a masters program at UM hence her presence in the library on a Friday evening. When I expressed mine, she BUSTED out laughing and playfully I hit her on the arm. She offered her phone and again I know, no numbers but luckily she had Stev's number so I sent a text to explain my dilemma. When he eventually replies he expressed that He, Cass, Kenzo, and Smilez, were making their way to Tomukun, the site of my first sake bomb during the Easter reunion. I greeted Jen goodbye and I returned to Hotel Arch to drop my belongings off. This time, the house is open and I greet Braun and St. before heading towards E Liberty St. 

          I arrived at Tomukun, and everyone smiled sheepishly at me. "I need a drink!" I say as we laugh and start interacting. We spend the rest of the time drinking, eating, taking pictures and telling stories. The sexy waitress from our Easter reunion, who was writing the thesis with the world's longest title, was again our server. Kenzo and I headed over to the main bar to watch the Wings vs. Sharks playoff, hockey game because apparently he "hated the Red Wings." Somehow the Sharks had jumped out to a 3 game to none lead and this was reason to taunt. Is there even ice in California? I simply told him, "If we win tonight, we're coming back and winning game seven." The Wings won that game to the delight of the entire bar but Kenzo. The Wings eventually took the series to a game seven before they lost so we'll have to get those damn Sharks next year. The group paid our bill and we decided to make our way towards Carnival. We played pool, and sang karaoke before deciding to head down the street to Live. On our way, we literally stumbled across a woman outside of Blind Pig as she smoked a cigarette. According to Louis Griffen from Family Guy, "If she smokes she pokes!" As it goes, I believe the cigarette represents a phallic symbol, and am I yet to see a trend that refutes this notion. Stev began talking to her and we all made our way to Live. We entered and the place was scarcely populated but there are more women than men. We ordered drinks and eventually made our way to the dance floor. We danced and carried one like we do and we all tried to get the smoker chick out of her shell, but something was off about her. Eventually a group of women made it over to us and I began dancing with one. When we stop dancing, I struck up a conversation with her and her group and she tells me one of the girls was her daughter! WHAT??? I would have never guessed because in terms of attractiveness, mommy was KILLING the daughter. I couldn't even tell she had children, much less a grown one. If I get married, I NEED a wife that ages as gracefully. At that moment, Smilez laments that he has to go pick up Dre from the train station, as for some reason, Dre scheduled his trip from Chicago to AA, to arrive at 1 am. We decide to leave Live and despite not having any friends, or plans, the smoker chick, flakes on joining us for the rest of the evening. Thus Smilez drops Kenzo, Cass, Stev and I off at Ricks before heading off to await Dre. 

          Ricks was moderately packed as we made our way down the stairs. We order our drinks and everyone separates and starts doing their own thing. I spent about 30 minutes greeting people I hadn't seen in months but naturally I ended up on stage to dance with the crew once Dougie, or "You're a Jerk" came on. While front and center on the stage, I spot that Smilez has arrived and next to him is Dre. So in the middle of my Dougie, I spot him and I threw up both middle fingers at him while I still danced and this sheepish look crept across his face. When the song ended, I eventually talked to him and he explained that it was his "bad," but that he himself had confirmed really late for the wedding. At that moment, I was drunk and over it, and more importantly closing time was in less than 15 minutes and I had put in no work in terms of finding a girl. Thus I took a stroll around the bar and as I turned the corner to climb the stairs to the main bar, I saw her as she approached me from around the corner. To my surprise it is none other than Serah. I hadn't seen her since 3 weeks prior at  our Easter reunion romp that Stev was a witness of. As soon as our eyes locked, it was magnetically instantaneous. She approached me, as I leaned against a wooden rail, and we kissed for what seemed like 5 minutes. When we withdrew from each other, she said, "I love how when I see you, we're all over each other without a word." No words were needed so I grabbed her and continued. Shortly after, the DJ called last call and the patrons collectively made their way out of the bar. As Serah and I made our way up the metallic stairs, I spotted Stev with "Crazy Rachel," this girl that Cass introduced him to and she actually might be crazy so I immediately thought to myself, "That CAN'T end well..." However, I had a sultry siren on my arm so where was my focus at? We made our way onto the sidewalk and turned left to begin heading to her house which is off White St. Like our Easter trip, we passed by an alley, in between these two houses and quickly, she PULLED me into it. This spot, next to a rickety, old wooden stair case is so unassuming that we can see the patrons walking down the sidewalk to our right but they can't see us. Naturally, we begin to go at it with our lips. As the seconds pass, her moans become more eager as she is about to burst with desire. When she can't stand it any longer, she lets out this little shrill and pushes me against the house. Furiously, she attacks my belt and pulls me towards her but without my hands. She then proceeded to bend over and initiate head, while I'm leaned back against the house, jeans around my knees, while watching people walk on the sidewalk to the left of us. I LOVE college! That alley way loving, I felt like Chin in Mexico in the summer of 2010 (Oh you thought we forgot about that motherfucker!). Shortly after, we HAVE to get back to Serah's place because I was ready to give her body an "O"utstanding workout. So the entire walk back to her place, we're all over each other and this makes walking in straight lines, impossible. Eventually, we reached her house and we began in the shower with the warm water cascading over us, as the temperature paled in comparison to the heat we generated. Things get rough and rugged and we broke her shower railing as I attempted to clutch onto it for leverage. This amused her as she let out a chuckle so I shrugged and nakedly lead her from the tub to her bedroom. She pushed me into her bed, and with as much fervor as the bathroom, we attacked her bed. Long story short, I put it down, as any respectable Galfer should, and so the answer is "YES!" I had a good night...

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