It was Adriana's birthday so leave it to sorority girl's to bring a cake to the bar. After introductions and the mini ceremony for Adriana, I insisted that she had to take a drink. For those that are unfamiliar, Adriana was the little sweetheart that would be at 1502's rowdiest events, BLUNT sober. There is nothing wrong with that, but in the conversations I've had with her, it's not that she's against drinking, it's more that she's against what it does to people. Here's my rebuttal to that...NO SHIT! 1.) She's a sorority girl, that's a terrible sample size for "responsible drinkers" 2). You can drink and keep it classy. I guarantee you when she's a doctor years down the line and actually starts drinking, she's going to have the thought, "I dryly wasted some of the BEST years of my life!" Anyways the drink was ordered and of course, she was being apprehensive but the peer pressure got to her and she picked up the glass and placed the straw in her mouth and took a sip before putting the glass back down with a hilarious look on her face. In my mind I thought, "That's it?" However I recalled it was Adriana so, that's as good as you're going to get so I threw my hands up and the group erupted in a cheer. We spent a few more minutes in Charlies before the decision was made to head to Ricks. This is my memory of Rick's, there was a stairs, it was dark, there was music and I was DRUNK! This is good and bad because it meant that I was enjoying myself but it was bad because I had meant to talk to Scandi because I hadn't seen her in close to 3 years, so I just wanted to catch up with her and it was literally a week later that she was proposed to...Ahh Well. After the gambler, Ray and I StRuGgLEd up the stairs and outside into the rainy night with Adriana, Britt and their other sorority sister with them. We decided to head over to the girl's apartment.
Yes that's a penis |
At the apartment, Britt and I started kissing as we have a history. She was once my date at that infamous "suspenders date party" where Stev, Wheeler and I TOOK OVER. However, her and I had only ever said "hello" because she was MAD flaky to me. Every time I suggested we would hangout she was ALWAYS busy, so though I crushed on her for a minute, it was senior year and I HAD TO get it in. It was her senior year too, so if she preferred these whack fraternity guys it was her prerogative but I always assumed more could happen with us. So I'm not sure if we started at Charlie's, Rick's or the apartment, but I recall barely grazing on her neck, in the kitchen of the apartment and she grew WILD with excitement! I was barely trying but she was TURNED ON so I remember asking, "Who the hell are these dudes that you usually hangout with?" Maybe I know a thing or two but in my opinion, I wasn't doing shit, but she was loving it so we continued. However, moments later, Britt went into the bathroom and began saying "hello" to the toilet bowl. "CHECK PLEASE!" I'm sorry, when someone throws up, that's a deal breaker for that night (apparently it's not for some people). So the mood was CLEARLY broken but I was cool, I had a great night, and I wanted Britt to be okay, so Adriana helped her out, before heading home and I ventured to the family room where Ray was already stretched out on the futon that the host had pulled out. There was one tiny blanket and I like Ray and all but I wasn't about to snuggle with him if there was no need, so I sat on one of those stylish chairs that looks like an egg and this is where I passed out.
Eventually, the strangeness of my seated position awoke me and I also realized how cold the room was due to the rain. It was sometime in the middle of the night so I got up and shuffled to the futon where I noted Ray was still enthralled in the blanket, so I plopped down on the left side of the futon and tried to curl myself up to keep warm. I eventually dosed off until I heard it, "Rustle, Rustle, Rustle." At first, I figured I was dreaming it so I thought nothing of it but then moments later, "Rustle, Rustle, Rustle." I awoke and listened but all I could hear was the rain howling outside so I closed my eyes again, but then "Rustle, Rustle, Rustle." Damn it! That was not a dream, that was real life, so I opened my eyes and decided to discover where this sound was coming from and then I heard it again, "Rustle, Rustle, Rustle." Hold Up! It was coming from behind but only Ray was behind me so I rolled my head over and looked and to my surprise, Britt was now in between, Ray and I, but what gave me pause was that she was cuddled up under the small blanket with Ray. So if you can imagine, I was the "little spoon" for Britt, who was the little spoon for Ray. So then the thought dawned on me, "Oh shit, it's coming from them two," so I quickly turned my head around to see if I would hear the sound again, "Rustle, Rustle, Rustle." "Aww Hell Naw! They Doing What???" My best friend, is with my girl, about to hookup literally on my head! FUCK THAT! It's too many "my"s in that statement, so I got up from the futon to "use the bathroom" and honestly I was kind of mad, because I was COLD. So after using the bathroom, I was about to return to the room when I peered out the corner and that's when I saw Britt's leg raise over so Ray could roll over on top of her..."I KNEW IT!" I started LAUGHING but I had to conceal it! Ray is my man's so that's Ray, but I didn't know Britt had it in her, apparently she was going to get hers by ANY means necessary! The irony of the situation struck me as the whole night I had been trying to find a girl for Ray and there he was literally on top of mine so after realizing this, I had to bite my lip hard to prevent from exploding in laughter. I realized that Ray is one of the few guys that this could happen with and I would be jovial about so I decided to give them time. I looked at my phone and decided to give them 20 minutes because if you're on top of a girl for 20 minutes and nothing happens, then nothing is going to happen. Besides at this point I was FREEZING, because the bathroom window was wide open and I was only wearing my undershirt that was wet from the night at ricks.
Note Ray in the background PLOTTING!!! |
Left:"One Sip" Right: Her Big |