Wednesday, June 1, 2011

"Easter Weekend: The Last Hoorah: (Sunday)"

          Sunday was the mildest day of our "Last Hoorah" but I enjoyed every bit of it. After breakfast at Benny's, Chin and Andre piled into his car to make their way back to Chicago. This left Cass, Stev and I in her car to go pick Jane up from somewhere before we made our way over to the Petoskey's house for Easter dinner. My memory is foggy, but somewhere along the line, Sweeny joined us in the car and together our merry little band made our way HOME (La Casa De Petoskey). Mrs. P had made an Easter dinner for us that was complete with a spiral glazed ham, green beans, mashed potatoes, salad?(my memory is foggy) and all that was left was for us to heat it up and indulge. Somewhere along the line Stev indicated that "E" was coming over and naturally I wanted a girl over too (Arms folded, while pouting)! LOL. Remember, in regards to girls, there was an underlying competition between the boys at 1502, that though we never talked about it, it still existed. When Wheeler and ESPECIALLY Stev would hookup with a girl, they were all of a sudden quiet and smug but it was never overt. Thus I wanted a girl over too and it was amusing when Cass played the "mom" role and was like "Yes Mike O! You can have a girl over too!" However, being that it was last minute and I wasn't going to bother texting Jayne, I said "screw it" and resided to enjoy the company of Stev, Cass, E, Jane, and Sweeny. We ate salsa as the girls tried to figure out how to heat up the ham. Side note, till that day I was unaware that there existed something like "fruity salsa."Jane first brought out some peach or strawberry flavored salsa and it wasn't that it tasted badly, it was just when you're expecting "normal" salsa, the taste threw me off. We eventually made our way to the dinner table and it was AMAZING! Seriously, I have never eaten bad at La Casa De Petoskey and no wonder they're all like 6'7" (Weezy reference), because they were eating all that good, organic home cooking. Great conversation was included within dinner and it was capped with cute little Easter buckets that Mrs. P had waiting for us. I truly love their family. We eventually made our way to the family room for more conversation and "Laffy Jaffe" (Emily) eventually joined us after studying. Med school seems tough, who would have thought! 

          The whole day I was trying to find some alone time with Cass to bury the hatch between us. If you DON'T know, as I'm sure that Cass would vent to ALL of her friends, during those last months at 1502 we didn't like each other. To this day I don't know why but I was her favorite target for when she was in one of her "moods." There were days where I would tell Stev, "Ayo look, I'm PURPOSELY staying out of her way today!" Yet somehow she would STILL find a way to jump down my throat about something that I said.  I'm very sarcastic because I love to laugh so on the surface, you can take some of what I say as me being as asshole but there's never any malice or intent to it. Case in point the "Shape Ups" comment. All I said was "Shape Ups" and if everyone had known that I was about to proceed with complimenting the girl, there would have been no need to collectively shout, "Mike O NOOOOO!" Lol. However, my breaking point with Cass was when she began to disrespect me in public. Where I'm from, and how I was raised, you and I do not have to be "besties" but YOU WILL respect me! Naturally, only my mother and father are immune from that. I remember the first time that I met E, we were on the volleyball courts and Cass and I got into an argument because I was simply asking what time we were leaving the courts. It was petty, stupid, shit like that and I was confused because she was supposed to be my friend. If I am doing something that is irritating, and annoying at least give me criticism so I can learn and grow from it. I was just getting bitched at and so when she thought that she could say anything to me and I wouldn't respond that was it for me. I used to be a hot head and you guys have never seen that side of me because I save that for when it is truly warranted. So many a time, I was SOO close to putting Cass in her place and it was only because of Stev that I never did. I was certain that Cass was trashing me to all of her friends. Take Michelle for example. When I met her she was sweet, bright eyed, never had a boyfriend, and I even talked her into making her "famous" chicken dinner for me. However later, she was EXTRA sassy and borderline rude towards me. Outside of drinking at our house, Michelle and I didn't see each other so there was no reason for her to be rude towards me. I looked at it like A.) She's just dated Mr. Olympian Adam, so she thinks she's hot shit (Valid! I've never dated an Olympian) or B.) All of the negativity that she was getting from Cass. Why I leaned towards the latter was that from the whole Jon/Cass fiasco, Jon once lamented to me that ANY girl that ever knew Cass was suddenly attacking him online or over texts (Haha, He tells it MUCH better). I was fine with all of this because girls are going to be girls. Plus, after I would calm down from being mad at her, I still looked at Cass like a friend. There was no need to trash her, as the only person that ever knew how frustrated I was, was Stev. 

          However, Stev's only advice was "Don't worry about it. It's "Cass being Cass," she'll calm down and forget about it." I'm sorry Stev...ann!(Porter reference), this is the WORST advice that you will ever give me. He even talked me out of going and burying the hatchet between us, and things never got better, they got worse! Shitty advice because I'm the type of person that likes to know where we stand. And even Stev and I were in a little tiff over that summer where we weren't speaking. However one day as he came home after work I just asked him, "Ayo can we talk about this?" During that conversation, we buried the hatchet and he even admitted to me that he's the type of person that hates admitting when he's wrong, he's stubborn that way. It was funny because it was SOO true! As long as I've known Stev, you could be arguing or discussing about something and he's CLEARLY wrong but he keeps going. If when he had walked in the door, I jumped down his throat and immediately began to argue with him or continued to give him the cold shoulder then he wouldn't have admitted that to me. I had to remove my pride and say "Hey let's talk about this." So if I have one regret from that summer is that I never did this with Cass. So the tension grew and it was that thick, as I couldn't be around her. Even Mike D, her cousin, when he first moved in as a subletter was like, "Cass why are you always angry?" In my head I was screaming, "EXACTLY!" However, I couldn't say this because if I even said, "Why" her and I would have been in an argument. Things were that bad. A few weeks ago, I was at the Porter/Ofilli wedding, and Stev was telling about he and Cass' trip to Chicago where they slept at Chin's sister's apartment that had no furniture. Stev turns to me and says, "Hmm! I wonder why you weren't there?" I'm thinking "Really? You asshole!" The reason I wasn't there is because I found out as they were leaving! I'm a housemate and I found out about this trip that were planning for 3 WEEKS mere hours before they were leaving. We went to Cedar Point with her dad and I found out about the trip the day before and it was only by luck that I got a sub off from work. The house would go to movies together, go eat together, go play volleyball together and I would ONLY know as they were coming back to the house. It felt very 4th "gradish" like I was purposely being excluded. Honestly, I was kind of mad at Stev because he was the only person I was telling any of this to, and I considered him a mutual friend, so I felt like he should have said something. Instead, he was "happy go lucky" Stev and so I held my tongue through all of this bullshit because I have my pride. I was doing a WORLD CLASS job of NOT exploding at Cass so I WAS NOT at the same time going to turn around and "beg" them to hangout. We were ONLY friends, what the fuck was I thinking. So when we moved out of 1502, I had ZERO intention of ever talking to Cass again and if you had been in my shoes, you would feel the same way or even worse. Fast forward to February of this year, and Amanda and I aren't talking for the first time. "I missed her like a blind archer," (Where's this quote from) and it was out of this angst that I began writing my novel "Galfing: A Young Man's Guide." If you can imagine I had NO intention of writing about Cass and if I had, then she would have gotten maybe a sentence. How I saw it, if the book takes off, we're going to gain some notoriety as "The 1502 gang." Why the fuck would I want to make Cass famous? However, as the words flowed out, I realized that we did TOO MUCH over the course of senior year, and I was truly touched by my time at 1502. I could have hated Cass to her core, but the fact remained that senior year, the BEST year of my life, would have been less special without her. Beyonce could have been our house mate and it wouldn't have been as special as with Cass, she was integral like every other member of 1502. I had to admit it. So fast forward to our Easter trip and I wanted to talk to her the entire weekend but couldn't find the chance. 

          The 6 of us sat in the family room and just enjoyed each others company through the night. Jane admitted that the "25 year old footballer" probably wasn't appropriate for her ( I was SOO proud). We had great talks such as how in a few years, an Indian man (red dot) will be the most populous on Earth. We talked about some of the differences between the college bubble and the real world. I tried to explain about Amanda. Then conversations switched to the "Naked Man" when out of the blue, E received a text that showed a naked black dude, holding his penis up to the mirror. He quickly sent another text apologizing for the picture, trying to make it seem that he was sending it to someone else. I IMMEDIATELY called BULLSHIT on that, and E confirmed this a few weeks later when he kept trying to hangout with her. However, in regards to the picture, dude was PACKING! I do ALRIGHT, but dude went under his kitchen sink and pulled out a PIPE, it was that big! However it begged the question, "What the fuck?" Did I miss a memo? What is this recent trend of dudes taking naked pictures of their penis' and sending it to females that aren't their wives or girlfriends? Kanye talked about it in that one song on My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, that one senator had to resign because he got caught posting on Craigslist? Seriously, when did I miss the memo? If you do alright in the penile department, isn't that something that you would want to surprise the lady with and have her marvel at when you first got her naked? More than likely, all you've done is turn her off by sending her a picture of your dick, when you guys haven't even been on a date. If she's not EXTREMELY horny, that course of action doesn't work! Am I wrong? This entire discussion was hilarious, and I even told the story about when I turned down my "Naked Woman." The story made my book, but I was surprised that I had never told 1502. It happened from before I knew them, but stories like that reminded me that that "pre-1502" Michael O, is not a guy that they are intimately aware of, so that's one benefit of engaging in this whole writing process. Before the night ended, E suggested "No Pride Night," and I kept questioning "Why!?!?!" "No Pride Night" was a game that some guys had taught her and her friends where the object of the game was to find the ugliest people and hook up with them. The "winner" was the person who took the ugliest person home? Again WHY?!?! I could see me now, playing this game, "Oh woe is me. I'm loosing this game because my girl in not ugly. Oh no!" LMAO! Again WHY?!?!?! I laughed even harder when I told Stev, "Any night we play with Stann, you KNOW you're loosing because, he may be an Olympian, but even Stann would admit that on certain nights, he has NO FLOORS!" I'm DYING with laughter over here, remember RACHEL LMAO!!! I'm not trying to me be mean but I knew that she was "talented" when she out-chugged Wheeler, and threw down the beer can while letting out this MONSTROUS burp that gave me pause! I looked out of the corner of my eye, with half my beer still in the can like, "This girl gets taken home RARELY!" However,  Stann hops on thinking it's a sure thing and he showers her with attention ALL NIGHT. I'm watching him like, "What is WRONG with this man?" Stev eventually leaves with his girl and Wheeler does the same with his girl, so it was only Stann and I and he decideds to take her home. I walk with the group to the girl's house and as there was nothing for me at this house as these girls weren't "it," I simply sat on the porch swing to thumb through my phone to see who was up  at around 3 am (wink wink). About 8 minutes later, Stann BOLTS through the front door and I'm like "What what???" Apparently, he started making out with her, and as he went to take her clothes off, she said, "Wait. I don't do this on the first night!" Stann said, "What?!?!?" and ran out of the house like he was going for the gold! LMAO!!! I heard this and fell off the porch swing DYING with laughter! I caught myself enough to say, "Admittedly, I wouldn't have expected that one either, but WHY were you even with her???" LMAO!!! It was TOO funny! So if I were to ever play No Pride Night, you would have to put SERIOUS money on it! The night ended, and we greeted everyone goodbye. I didn't get to talk to Cass, however the next day, I got her number from Stev and told her how I felt because I truly loved her, her family, etc. I told her that I would never be a Wheeler towards her, but her and I were great once through all of the memories like when I sat in the living room and shared my high school diary with her, to when she became a woman, etc. I was satisfied with us going back to that, and she echoed the same sentiments. And in reading some of her blog posts from after our Easter trip I distinctively recall one post where she said something like, "I realize I DO have a great family!" I laughed of course because I've been saying this since DAY 1 so not to toot my own horn or anything (Fuck it! Toot Toot!!!) I'd like to think that I had a hand in this. All things considered, Easter Weekend, "The Last Hoorah" was an IMMENSE success.


  1. Without question, one of the worst pieces of advice I've ever given. Mainly because I always tell people to do the opposite of what I told you, I guess I just didn't want to get caught up in a big Mike O Cassie fight that was almost certain to happen from a convo...Oh well it adds character and we all learned and grew from that experience.

    Stann is just too much. I was dying laughing while reading that post, just trying to picture his rejection.

    No Pride Night will happen at some point, we more than likely will have to bet something on it, but I KNOW it's going to happen.

  2. No Pride Night will NOT happen, at least for me. I feel the way Mike O. does, there's times when 1502 DTM is a good thing, then there's times where it's a bad thing. Example, even though I missed it, would be Edward 4 Loko hands. Another example, when I tried to make "Saw" into the next beer pong. I think No Pride Night would be in the same vein as those sorts of activities.

    On the other side of things, how many house parties did we turn into lap dance sessions, 1502 DTM. How many pregames did we turn into heated baseball/beer pong tournaments? Let's do a Pride Night where we only go for the best, which I guess is what we normally do.

    Speaking of taking pictures of genitalia...

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