Wednesday, May 18, 2011

"Easter Weekend: The Last Hoorah: (Friday): It's My Birthday!"

          I awoke on Friday and I was still reeling from the previous nights revelations. At around the same time, Stev ventured back into the basement and it was while talking with him, that I realized that it was my birthday. I was officially 23 and I had to ponder this thought for a second. I have goals that I have written down. Goals that I would like to achieve before I am 30 and so everyday that I have not achieved them, I almost feel inept. Thus in my mini depressed state at home, I really felt like I was 29 years old. Just being in AA, reminded me of my youth. I opened my laptop and found a song that was first inspired when Amanda and I's stalemate first began. The song was called "Creepin" and I never finished it as I still had the first verse to write. So when I awoke, it was this song that I was working on when Stev returned to the basement. I have uploaded it here for you to sample, so remember that where the first verse should be is a freestyle that I just added to fill the space.


          Eventually Sweeny, Braun, and St. made their way down to the basement as well. Everyone wished me a happy birthday as Stev sang, "I ain't had sex in a long time." (It's a song). Apparently, he had been in a long drought as well since his breakup with 45. However, if you can recall, he had ended his drought mere hours ago with the Asian girl from Rick's. So I looked at him and said "Really?" My drought was still ongoing from late January. Thus it was concluded that the goal for my birthday was to get me laid. We had a few hours to kill as Cassie had scheduled a 1 pm lunch at Benny's. Thus we began to watch "Dante's Peak," with Pierce Brosnan. I don't how this began, but instead of watching the film for simple entertainment, we began to critique the many, flawed plot lines. For example, there was a scene where the grandmother could have easily jumped onto the lakeside deck to avoid getting burned by the sulfuric acid that was caused by the exploding volcano. Instead, like an idiot, she chose to SLOWLY wade through the water to reach the shore and seconds after she arrived on shore, she collapsed and died from her burns. They were clearly trying to write her out of the film. We continued like this for another hour but then everyone was STARVING. With the boys taking finals, and Stev and I being in the "real world," we had all woken up fairly early and so by noon, we needed food. I couldn't take it anymore, thus I grabbed some left over Chinese from when I had arrived on Wednesday. About 30 minutes later, none of the boys could stand their hunger as well, so save for Braun, we all made an executive decision to head to Benny's. As we boarded St. Amant's car, I noted how miserably rainy the weather was. For whatever reason, my birthday's have always been good for torrential downpours. The worst being when I got my first bike and it rained for a week straight. As we pulled into the Benny's parking lot, we received a text message from Cassie that she now needed a ride to Benny's, from her mom's law firm. She had wrongly assumed that her mom had left her with the car. Being that St Amant was the only one who was driving, we laughed as this obviously fell on him. His demeanor was "Fuck that!" Cassie's law firm is in downtown AA, which is the opposite direction of where Benny's is located. We would just have to meet up with her later and so we sat down to order our breakfast. Somehow we entered in a sarcastic conversation with our waitress that I had never seen. After learning that she was 30, I told her that I was turning 29 and asked what the birthday special was. She laughed and said something about bringing me soup. I never did get the soup but thanks to the lovely "Mrs. Benny," (we've never gotten her name, as she's simply "Benny's wife") my meal was free so things were looking up as we left the diner.

         We ended up back at Hotel Arch to shower and prep for our day. Somehow somebody turned the TV to "Biker Boyz" and this movie is hilarious because seemingly, any ethnic actor that's ever been in anything was this film. Rufio made an appearance, my man Booby Miles (Derek Luke), Meagan Good was absolutely delicious, Orlando Jones, Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne), Cedric the entertainer, the one black dude that used to be on "ER," It was hilarious. They were pulling brothers from EVERYWHERE. Eventually we got dressed and it was time to head over to Cassie's. Sweeny made some statement about going to the track meet and I told him, "Unless you're tryna swim to Ypsi, you better roll with us." He pondered it for a second and correctly decided that it was better to roll with Stev and I. Moments later, we were out of the door and into Cassie's car. I don't recall how we came into possession of Cassie's whip, slang for car, but about 5 minutes later we picked her up from downtown AA and headed to her place. Her and Sweeny exited the car as Stev and I had to run to Kroger to pick up some supplies. Apparently a sangria competition had been planned for the next day and so Cass needed her supplies. When we eventually returned they chided us for "taking forever" but remember we went to the north campus Kroger, so it took some time to navigate there. Funny side note, at Kroger's, we went to pick up some wine and not only did the bottle have a screw top, the name was "Flip Flop." I asked Stev, "Flip Flop? Better ask Cass if she wants quality or price." After Stev called her, what do you think she picked? We picked up some chips and salsa and headed back to Cassie's. When we arrived, Cass, Sweeny and a voluptuous black girl with long wavy hair that I had never seen were all in the apartment. Her name was Jayne, and she also worked at Cass' law firm and was in fact a high school classmate of Cassie's but as Pioneer High had thousands of kids in each class, the two did not know each other in high school. Sweeny, Stev and I sat on one side of the kitchen island, while Cass, Jayne and eventually Maria, were on the other side prepping the chips salsa and drinks. What was IMMEDIATELY apparent about Jayne were her breasts. You have to understand, I'm not even that guy to first notice this fact, as I tend to prefer the "posterior curves" (PC way of saying Big o'l BOOTY) of a girl. Also from living with Cass for more than a year, I quickly noticed that usually, she has the biggest mammary glands in a square mileage. And they once prompted Stev to shout out "Let's Go BOOBS!!!" before one of her volleyball games (Let's go blue is a Wolverine chant). Cassie turned around and simply shook her head at us as we exploded in laughter. However, the fact remained that many a free drinks for the boys of 1502, have come on behalf of Cassie's chest. Seriously guys, if you don't want to ever pay for drinks at the bar, find a female friend with GIANT breasts and make it a point to go out with her. You will quickly find that other guys are idiots as they assume that simply buying a girl drinks will automatically get her clothes off (Sometimes it works but what happens is when every other guy is also buying her drinks, she has options and can be selective). However, as we stood on the other side of the island, Jayne was going "tit for tit" with Cass. This was crazy in of itself but then to accentuate things, she was wearing a bright, yellow, wife beater as she danced, seductively, in front of us. Let's put it this way, she should have been offended if we didn't notice. We began drinking and carrying on and Jayne indicated that she was moving to LA next week. In making conversation I asked her "For what" and she said, "Riding horses." I replied with, "Like a vacation? That seems like a random affirmation?" She laughed at my point and elaborated that she took a job as a horse trainer. This girl was definitely quirky. So I replied with, "Oh, okay. And what else do you ride?" She gave me that sultry look like she knew exactly what I was referring to...riding the train. About 30 minutes after Maria had arrived, we decided to hit the town and so the 6 of us all walked out of the apartment on our way to Tomukun restaurant. 

          A funny moment occurred on our walk to Tomukun. For whatever reason, Sweeny, Cass, and Maria, all the white people, and Stev, Jayne and I bunched up in groups of threes with an impossible divide between us. Sweeny and Cass kept looking back wondering, "Why are you guys back there?" And we replied with, "Why are you guys up there?" This division of the races was funny and I am curious to if it is a sub conscious thing, or a chance occurrence. We arrived at the restaurant with the three of them waiting for us at the first table by the door. Thus, Jayne, Stev and I took our seats across from them. I made it a point to sit in between Stev and Jayne because you should never be on the edge on your birthday. When our server arrived I began to chat her up as you should ALWAYS make it a point to engage the people that handle your food. Someone that likes you or finds your presence enjoyable is less likely to spit in your shit. So I began talking to this cute girl and discovered that she was actually a bit older and had just finished her thesis. Intelligence and attractiveness, this was right up my alley, so I asked her the title of her thesis,  as I am actually supposed to be heading to a thesis defense in the near future. I swear, what she replied with was the LONGEST title of anything that has ever been written. She opened her mouth and this is what I heard, "Something something something something something something, geology, something something something something, natural, something something something something something science!" No bullshit! She had to take a breath in between saying the title before she could actually finish. I gave her a high five as we all erupted in laughter. There was NO WAY that she could have made that up if she tried. After the laughter subdued, we ordered our food, some Japanese beer, a white drink that I didn't really care for and SAKE BOMBS!!! I had always wanted 1502 to go sake bombing but that is one activity that slipped through the cracks so I was admittedly excited. When our food arrived, Jayne taught me how to use chop sticks and I could not contain my excitement! I was always that person at the Asian restaurants that had to ask for the forks, so when she showed me how to handle them enough to get some rice into my mouth, I felt like Tom Hanks in "Castaway" when he pounded his chest proudly after he had made some fire. It was exactly this motion that I reenacted saying, "Look I have used chopsticks!" Cassie found this amusing and so the table laughed. Eventually our sake bombs arrived and we were instructed to take care with these glasses as they were prone to shattering. Fail! Why offer sake bombs if you can't bomb the sake? I threw caution to the wind and said, "Fuck it!" We filled our glasses with beer and after dropping the shot glasses filled with sake into our glasses, Stev and I took the bombs. Success!!! We ended up taking about four more rounds until the beer was finished. After I got Jayne's number, I noticed that she wasn't drinking as she indicated that she was not coming out for the rest of the evening. She had to drive to Lansing to see her friends play in a band. I looked at her and said, "Woah! It's my birthday. You still have 364 days of the year to go watch your friends be lame." She laughed at this but made some lame excuse and so the table paid for our bill and headed for the exit on our way to Skeeps (Scorekeepers bar and grille). Most of the group ran ahead as a few people, including Jayne had to first use the bathroom. I decided to stand on the sidewalk and wait. When she finally exited the restaurant, I was the only one in the group that wasn't yet at Skeeps, so she asked, "Why are you waiting here?" Without hesitation, I walked right up to her, pulled her into me, and passionately kissed her as if I would never see her again (as I probably will never see her again). If memory serves correctly, that was 2 hours between the initial meeting and the first kiss, so by 1502's standards I have to shave off an hour and a half from that time (lol). I'd been out the game for a while so you have to excuse me for not being in game shape. I watched her face light up as I immediately turned around to head to Skeeps. Before I crossed the street I turned over my shoulder and asked, "So I'll see you tomorrow right?" She nodded her head in response. I knew I would never see her again so I crossed the street and headed to Skeeps.

          At Skeeps, the night began to speed up as the alcohol was starting to catch up with us. I ordered the FREE birthday burger which is almost a hidden gem of AA because many people are unaware of it. The other thing of note, was that they had dollar beers of Friday nights. Also, I ran into Tessa and her sorority sisters on a senior bar crawl, as they were about to graduate in a week. Aside from us, they basically were the only people at Skeeps. I knew it was her immediately when I walked in but we only crossed paths when her and the girls were leaving. She removed her plastic sunglasses and asked, "Oh my God. Michael O, is this really happening, why are you here?" I responded with, "Apparently it's my birthday so I'm going to get laid tonight." You have to realize, this girl and I do NOT have regular conversations. She was a neighbor from my sophomore dormitory days and on two occasions, we had hooked up in a drunken stupor. It was not memorable as the first time she actually said to me, "I'm NOT going to be fucked like dog!" This was a letdown as doggy style is one of my go to positions when I'm trying to put it down. Besides, I didn't like her like that to only do missionary, and so by senior year, I began to decline all of her advances to the point where she once told me, "No! I've learned a lot PLEASE come over so I can show you." Once during senior year, I almost fell for this, but as I sat in her room, I couldn't bring myself to make a move so I simply left. Thus before she left Skeeps, she looked up at me and said, "Well, we'll probably end up at Rick's so if you come and find me, you can fuck me on your birthday." I looked down at her and said, "Okay!" Nothing else happened of note at Skeeps and so shortly after, my group headed to Redhawk bar and grille on State St. Now, I was really feeling the alcohol, so I mostly did a lot of sitting and listening. Sean, one of Cassie's ex flames, made an appearance and you HAVE TO read the story that their first encounter inspired in my novel "Galfing: A Young Man's Guide." Also, I learned that Maria did not know how to find her pin on her Crackberry, which means that she did not know how to fully use BBM. This is the first thing that any Blackberry user should immediately familiarize themselves with as the pin can be displayed in the BBM profile or by pressing the Blackberry symbol key then going to  "Options" then  "Status." I shook my head at this revelation as it must be the Michigan State in her. Shortly after, we made our way across campus to Charley's and I remember NONE of this. We may have ordered "Longest Islands" but I cannot be sure. Soon enough it was time for Rick's so we rounded up the troops and headed over.

          I do not recall MUCH of our time at Rick's, but I remember thinking that outside of Jane and her rowing teammates, there were not a lot of girls at Ricks. Side note: Jane is Cassie's little sister and after playing lacrosse her freshman year, our senior year, she had now switched to rowing and was flourishing. In two years she is going to be running campus as she has that type of opposite personality, which is completely opposite  of Cassie. For example, Cassie might think about something and worry, Jane simply does it and deals with the consequences later. However, it was still unsettling that all of these young kids could easily get into Rick's now. There used to be a time when getting into Rick's meant something, seemingly nowadays any jackass with a terrible fake ID can get in. After 1 am, I noticed that Stev did not have girl either, so it really must have been slim pickings, but I just knew that tonight was my night. At around 1:40 I could feel the onset of last call and so I took one more look around the bar, and almost by divine intervention, our eyes simultaneously made contact. It was Serah, this med student from California that I had hooked up with once. I had always wanted to hook up with her again, but she would always hit me with lame excuses. However, as I looked into her eyes I realized that she was now thinking exactly what I was thinking, so I walked right up to her kissed her. No words were needed as it was instant attraction. We kissed for about 10 minutes, before I managed to pull my head back and say, "It's my birthday and I'm taking you home." It wasn't a request and like a soldier that knew how to fall in line, she looked up at me and said, "Okay!" At last call, she told me that she had to find her friend, and if it was the girl that I was thinking about,  I KNEW that she would be hunting Stev, so I told Serah not to worry about her. Serah and I made our way up the stairs of Rick's and actually ran into Stev as we hit the door. The rain that had subsided at Skeeps was now at a fever pitch and so Serah opened an umbrella as we stepped outside, while Stev walked off. As we were opening the umbrella, a girl behind us screamed out at the top of her lungs, "I'M BEING CHOKED RIGHT NOW AND I'M NOT EVEN HAVING SEX!!!" What?!?! Everyone turned around to see Paige, one of Jane's rowing teammates, horsing around with a football player. It would be Paige that would say that, as she was a wild one. In fact, most rowers are wild girls. Another thing to note about Michigan rowers is that they have a LONG history with the football players and black guys in general. The thing is that to row those giant boats, means that most of those girls are bigger than the average dude, except for the "coxswain," or navigator. Thus they tend to like the bigger, aggressive type of dudes and so the football team provides the perfect stable. I remember the first rower that I met at Michigan. It was freshman year, French class, and her name was Becca Larson. She was one year ahead of me and all kinds of sexy as I believe that she was a redhead at the time. Our seats were assigned next to each other and so when I would ask her things like, "Hey what's the time?"she would start to laugh. I'm funny but not THAT funny, so CLEARLY, she liked her coffee black! She would always invite me out to Touchdowns (no longer in existence due to numerous fights) but as I didn't yet possess a fake ID, I couldn't yet get in. And when I would see her at other venues, she somehow ALWAYS managed to attract the likes of Mike Hart, Kevin Grady, etc, star running backs WHEN we were good. In case you are unaware, Michigan football players are treated like demi-gods in AA, so I looked at it like either compete with these guys or go for a sure thing. I never made a move, thus Becca Larson if you ever read this, "What time is it?"

          The rain was angrily pouring down now and so Serah and I turned left and began to walk to her place. In making conversation I said, "You know I've never hooked up in the rain." She looks at me, grabs my harm forcefully and pulls me into the alley in between two houses. In the next moment, we were furiously going at it just under the window of one of the houses, as the rain beat down on top of us. Through one of her moans she managed to say, "I NEED you now" and I laughed in response. Little did she know the ass whopping that I had in store for her body. We eventually make it back to her place and I was soaked. I went to grab some water from kitchen, while she went to the bathroom. Moments later we were naked in her bed. She LOVES wearing robes and so I was on my back as I watched her walk into the room and de-robe, before climbing on top off me. Like the first time that we had hooked up, I watched as her enormous breasts cascaded on top of me. She has the largest breasts of anyone that I've ever hooked up with and I remember feeling like I had alligator arms, as I attempted to catch them. Now this is the first naked woman that I've seen since January, so I grab her and forcefully flip her over. With precision, I ripped off her panties in one fluid motion and I dived between her legs. I had remind myself of what a woman tasted like. Serah was delicious! So with my tongue I ravaged her, over and over and over again. She came like three times before we started having sex. Serah is one of those girls that her reputation precedes her as she is the definition of a wild girl. However, when I first entered her, the first time that we hooked up, I remember having the thought that she was entirely tight and cozy. I recall having this same thought as I entered her again and so we began to have sex and she felt SOO good. With excitement, I'm BEATING her up and she is cumming and cumming, which is followed by a trip to the bathroom after every time. Thus after her second trip to the bathroom, I in turn, grab my cup and head to the kitchen to refill it. As I entered the hallway, the front door opens up and Stev and Serah's friend arrive. I walk up to them, balls out, and begin a conversation. They, especially her, can't get over the fact that I am standing, semi-erect, and non nonchalantly in front of them, so they keep laughing. I hadn't had sex since January, so I didn't give a fuck. I felt like Adam in the Garden of Eden, entirely unaware by my nakedness. I made my way back to the room and Serah is awaiting me as she is now kneeling on the edge of the bed on all fours. I have to say this. This girl's body is BUILT for sex! Anything that a man can take delight in, on a woman's body, this girl possesses. Thus she is part of this new phenomenon of white girls possessing asses. Back in the day, white girls used to have bony butts, or the kinds that curve inwards, or the "stick figure" look or WORST, no butt at all. However, with the onset of rap or other black related topics , some of them started to evolve and black guys EVERYWHERE began to take notice. The rise in interracial relations in this country is directly proportionate to this fact because not too long ago, it was not "cool" for white girls to be curvy. Everyone wanted that "tall, leggy blond" look, so a mere 6 years ago, NO ONE, but the brothers, gave a fuck about Kim Kardashian. Remember, Paris Hilton was the it girl for the moment. So as I saw Serah's curvy behind awaiting me, the animal came out of me and took over. I entered her and furiously began to give her long, deep, hard strokes as I was urged on by her eager moans. I was standing and so I placed my right hand down on the desk that was directly beside her bed,  so in a moment, things began to fall off desk with every second. Stev can tell the story better as he told me the next morning that at one point, the house began to shake. Thus he said he was content simply listening until his girl got jealous asking, "Hey why are we not having sex?" So he obliged her request. Serah kept moaning "Harder!, Harder!!, Harder!!!," and so I kept going faster and faster until I finally climaxed. As I did, the nearly three months of no sex flashed before my eyes. I felt like I had been baptized in the waters of "Lake Serah" so I collapsed into her a new man. For a moment, we lay motionless in her bed, as we both had to catch our breaths. After rolling over she looked over at me, and obviously gassed, she managed to say, "I think you broke me!...But in a good way." I could only laugh and once again I was desperately thirsty and so I grabbed my cup to head to the kitchen, while Serah ventured into the bathroom. As I hit the hallway again, Stev was standing there half erect, with his condom still on. We could only manage a laugh, and a high five, as we walked by each other. I swear, I must have drank 7 full cups of water and I was still thirsty. Eventually, I managed to return to the room but the door was locked. I walked back to the living room and noted that Stev was not with his girl so he must have entered the room with Serah. Were we about to swap??? I grew excited. Stev, Wheeler, and I had once joked about swapping our girls once upon a time, but lately Stev and I have been very serious about accomplishing this. He was definitely in the room with Serah and so I walked to the futon where his girl was laying and began talking to her to gauge her interest. Mind you, Serah is the HOTTEST out of all of her friends, so her friend should wish that I would want to hook up with her. However, this was entirely by chance and Stev and I had laid no groundwork for a proper swap, so his girl was ENTIRELY lost as she rolled over and curled up on the futon. Being a gentleman, I couldn't just spoon with her entirely naked so she threw me a pillow as I sat on the edge of the other couch and watched the rain. Moments later, Stev emerged from the room giddy like a school girl as he said, "Thanks Mike." Apparently, she wasn't aware that it was him when she returned from the bathroom and so as she climbed into bed with him, he reached out and grabbed her ass when she said, "No! I need a few days." I laughed at this fact and told him at least he got that close. His girl was bullshitting, so we slapped fives and promised to tackle the swapping issue soon enough. I returned to the room and climbed back into bed with Serah, and before I passed out. I managed to say, "That's HOW you do a birthday!"


  1. I am finally caught up, I had to read your past 5 posts throughout the day...demn!

    I was excited for this post because, "Oh, Dre and I got to AA on Friday night...I cant wait until he mentions me!". Suffice to say I didn't make it, albeit, when I got to ricks you were fixated, eyes and tongue, with, apparently, Serah. I finally know what happened before I got there and I'm even more pissed that I had to work that Friday. Congrats on getting that nut man, you'll have to try and make it out to the Chi and we can conquer the Depaul campus, by way of the Lion's Head Pub (aka Chicago Ricks).

    Funny about the subconscious segregation thing, too. Have you seen cassies pictures that she took with the disposable. There's the picture of us guys, you, stev, and dre on one side then Sweeney and I on the were all kind of standing together, but clearly there is a gap. Sweeney and I look like pioneers in integration, haha.

    I may be out in Detroit next week, by the way. Thursday night most likely...

  2. HAHA....forgive me!!! I remember thinking I left Chin and Barnes out but you guys literally came in at 1:50 when we were DRUNK and on a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY important mission

  3. MY MAN! Oh how it's fun to relive this moment through your gift of story telling. When I tell you that I "felt every stroke" that is not me embellishing the story, literally if I had closed my eyes I would have been convinced it was me having sex with Serah minus the feeling of being inside her. If I had not obliged my girl in her request I am almost certain she would have just left and joined you too, it was inspiring my man, I have never been that motivated to do work (sex wise) forever.

    Glad I was able to be there for your birthday. I can't really remember your last one but I will never forget this one. It at least mentally laid the ground work for the swap as we both now are very aware of what we look like naked (no more surprise there) and now understand that we can either 1.) be mistaken for being the same person or 2.) put in the familiar work early in the night so they understand they get both of us.

    Jayne doesn't know what she missed out on ha ha.